I cringe every time I hear someone say, “… a marriage license is nothing more than a piece of paper”. Not true. A marriage license is essentially a legal permit that states you and your partner are legally allowed to marry. Also, it is a confirmation from the authority that there are no qualifications that would disqualify one from a legal marriage.
Upon obtaining a marriage license, one then proceeds to obtaining a marriage certificate. This certificate is endorsed by the state and proves that a couple is officially married. Honestly, getting married is about so much more than just “… having a piece of paper”. In a number of categories, marriage comes with a myriad of advantages. It is not just a notice of two persons who love each other.
The ”piece of paper” confirms a binding legal contract. That legal contract puts one in a position to make major medical decisions on behalf of one’s spouse. In addition it entitles each other to Social Security, Medicare and even disability benefits. Shared benefits extend to real estate, tax shelters, access to career compensation, insurance and retirement funds.
Undergirding these economic benefits is a commitment to each other. One of the fundamental cornerstones of a successful marriage is commitment — an unwavering allegiance to a relationship and a partner. In a sense, marriage is the surrender of individualism and an adoption of conformity. It is a commitment to a partnership. The “piece of paper” ratifies this commitment.
Governments use legal marriages to ensure and regulate healthy societies –
- In every marriage, both parties must be unmarried - to avoid polygamy (bigamy);
- Each party must be at least 18 years old – to avoid child abuse;
- Each person must be sane and mentally capable of entering into a legally binding agreement;
- Some states require a blood test before a marriage licence is issued;
- Some states also require a waiting period of one to six days between the licence and wedding;
- States require a ceremony and a qualified officiant who can administer an oath;
- There must be an exchange of vows or promises;
- During the ceremony, one or two witnesses, above the age of 18, must sign the certificate;
- In some States, a marriage is only allowed between a man and a woman; and
- You may also need to prove that you are not related to your partner.
In some states, you can enjoy all of the benefits of being married without having to go through any of the traditional formalities. Your relationship, however, must generally meet the following requirements:
- You must present yourselves publicly as a married couple.
- You must be legally eligible to be married, which means you must be old enough to marry legally, and not already married
- You must mutually agree to be married
- You must live together as man and wife
If you can sufficiently document that your relationship meets all of these requirements, you may be considered legally married in the eyes of the law. This is called a common law marriage and will confer upon you all of the legal rights, privileges, and restrictions as a conventional marriage. Interestingly, governments see commitment as a foundation upon which to build common law marriages.
Although this blog was not intended to defend the benefits of marriage, one cannot ignore the impact stable marriages have on societies:
- Marriage reliably creates the social, economic and affective conditions for effective parenting;
- Marriages change lifestyles and habits in ways that are personally and socially beneficial. It is a “seedbed” of prosocial behaviour.
- Marriage generates social capital. The social bonds created through marriage yield benefits not only for the family but for the larger society.
- Marriage is a personal, but not private, relationship with great public significance. Marriage is good for the couple; it is also provides the optimal conditions for bearing and raising children. Marriage makes an essential contribution to the common good.
Then, what constitutes marriage in God’s eyes? Firstly, requirements that are reasonable and not against biblical standards. Secondly, compliance with cultural, familial and covenantal practices, typically employed to recognize a couple as officially married. Also, a couple should consummate the marriage sexually, fulfilling the physical aspect of “becoming one flesh”.
So, although the “piece of paper” does not guarantee stable marriages, it announces a commitment upon which stable marriages can be established. It is the best of the alternatives to empower every member of the family unit. It ensures order and respect for societal, familial and biblical values.
1 comment:
A marriage is a covenant between two people, witnessed by God in Heaven above. God views covenants very seriously. When He made a covenant with Abraham, He was faithful to it over centuries, even though the descendants of Abraham were often unfaithful. When Joshua made a covenant with the Gibeonites, God required that Joshua be faithful to it, even though the Gibeonites had presented false information. Marriage is much more than 'a piece of paper'
BUT that piece of paper is important. University students always claim they are working for that 'piece of paper' (their University degree) because it opens doors for career that would have been closed otherwise. The 'piece of paper' that says I own my house is important because no one can come and throw me out of it. The marriage 'piece of paper' is important for all the reasons listed in the excellent blog that David has done.
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