Christine went to sleep on Monday, May 07, 2018 – she has not awakened yet. However, the following day she was pronounced dead. Some four years earlier, my sister-in-law Christine Baugh was diagnosed with colon cancer. She fought the curse with a variety of treatments, but eventually succumbed. Between my wife and I, she was the last sibling, but her youth was not enough to stave off the monster called death.
Although Christine will not be attending any more of our family gatherings, I will refer to her passing as sleep. Not because I do not want to accept the fact that she has gone, but rather, because the New Testament refers to her passing as sleep. Years earlier, Christine committed her life to Jesus Christ and was described as a Christian. Her faith informed her life.
Long before the New Testament writers were using sleep as a metaphor to describe death, Old Testament writers were doing the same. Death was associated with lying down to rest. From ancient history we learn that sleep was also used as a metaphor for death in Greek mythology.
Both Jesus and Paul would have been familiar with the ancient use of sleep as a metaphor for death. Jesus illustrates this in the story of Lazarus. Hear the gist of the story: ‘After Jesus had said this, He went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” Jesus had been speaking of his death, but His disciples thought He meant natural sleep. So then He told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead …’ (John 11:11-14 NIV).
In using the metaphor of sleep, Jesus was teaching His disciples that there are similarities between sleep and the physical death of people of faith. As alluded to earlier, sleep implies rest. There is a discontinuation of the routine. Sleep is a naturally recurring physical and mental state of rest during which a person becomes inactive and unaware of the environment.
There is no doubt that sleep is good for you. Even the Bible teaches about the blessing of sleep (Psalm 127:2). After four years of fighting cancer and watching my sister-in-law change beyond recognition, it was good for her to experience a long sleep. The same could be said of the five other close friends who passed away in the last month. Eternal rest meant freedom from the pain and discomfort that ravaged their bodies.
Sleep is essential to our emotional and physical wellbeing. It is a time during which the body can rest, and the mind can sort things out. Each stage of sleep provides different benefits to our physiological and emotional health. Some stages of sleep help us to feel rested, whereas others help us learn or make memories. Some describe sleep as an opportunity for the brain to perform “housekeeping” tasks, such as organizing long-term memory, integrating new information, and repairing and renewing cells and tissues.
In essence, sleep prepares us for the next phase - it is a preparatory period. The period the Apostle Paul called the hope of the believer. Without this hope, Paul contends that the Christian life is futile (1 Corinthians 15:12-19). Because of this hope we do not grieve like those who have no hope.
New believers in Thessalonica were quite concerned when they saw their loved ones dying. The grieving ones thought that the deceased were lost. Paul responded to that concern in one of his letters when he wrote: “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13).
While attempting to inform and encourage believers, Paul was identifying a category of persons “who have no hope”. They do not share a worldview that believes there is a reality beyond passing away. They consistently refer to passing away as death, not sleep. For them, death does not only mean the cessation of life, but the cessation of opportunity and hope.
Paul further contends that the Christian worldview is not a mere philosophy of life. It is a reality rooted in the reality of the death and resurrection of Jesus. This is how Paul describes it – “We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him” (1 Thessalonians 4:14).
That belief is what has enabled us to cope with the passing of our darling Christine. Agreed, there is a sense of loss in that she no longer shares our space. However, like Paul, we believe she is asleep and will rise again. How do I know she will rise again? Well, it happened to Jesus. According to Paul, “But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep” (1 Corinthians 15:20).
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Saturday, May 12, 2018
A Tribute To Women of Courage!
Sandra Green, a Florida mother turned-in her 18-year-old son to the police. She recognized him on surveillance video in connection with a home burglary.
Clearwater police released footage showing three teenagers breaking into a home. They were stealing headphones, sports memorabilia and a pair of Michael Jordan-brand sneakers. Days later, Sandra Green saw the video and said she was “heartbroken” to see that her son was one of the three people wanted.
“I was heartbroken because I know I didn’t raise him like that,” she told a television station. “I told him, ‘Come home, take your shower, get something to eat, I am about to take you over there to Clearwater, and turn you in." Clearwater police arrested the young man and charged him with burglary and grand theft.
The mother told a judge she wanted her son to be put on probation with the requirement that he get back on the path to graduate from high school. “He is not hardcore. I feel like he will break tonight. But I want to make sure that it sinks in.”
Throughout the life of a mother, she is confronted with difficult decisions. The difficulty often increases as children grow. For career women, many abandon career ambitions and accept the new challenges of motherhood. Others surrender economic stability and opt for developing character and value in their children. Simply put, mothers make huge personal sacrifices in attempting to nurture their offspring. Sometimes that passion to produce excellence in their children forces them to make tough decisions, all in the interest of their children.
That passion for character development prompted another mother to also turn her son in to the police. Lakesha Robinson was at her son’s school for a parent-teacher conference. She noticed his attention was on a cell phone that she didn’t recognize. She said, “what are you doing with this phone? Whose phone is this?”
He told his mother that the cell phone was given to him by a friend, but she wasn’t buying his story; therefore, she conducted her own investigation and uncovered the real owner of the phone.
The owner told the mother-of-three that his car was broken into and his cellphone, wallet, and credit cards had been stolen. He went on to say that his credit cards had been used at McDonald’s and Walmart. “Since my son had the phone, it’s obvious that he knows something about this theft.” But, when she asked her son about the burglary, he denied it – that’s when she continued her investigation. A McDonald’s bag, a Walmart bag, and a receipt were found inside her home and she called the cell phone owner to see if the amounts matched his statements.
The mother arranged a meeting with the owner and returned his property. Afterward, the Florida mother didn’t hesitate to turn her son in for burglary because of her own criminal background. She did not want her son to make the same mistakes she did before changing her life. Her son was arrested and taken to a juvenile detention center for 12 hours and charged with four counts of burglary.
As I reflect on Mother’s Day 2018, I am forced to recall experiences with the mothers I know best – my own mother, my wife who mothered three, and our daughter who is mothering four. These three women, representing three different generations have taught me much. Each of these women displayed toughness in their parenting. They sacrificed much, displayed tenderness, but never surrendered toughness. Thankfully, none of these women have had to report their children to the police.
At this time of year, I salute them – I salute each of them because, in their mothering, they cared more for the character than the image of their children. I salute these women because their passion for Jesus is greater than their passion for religion. The words of the Proverbs 31 woman ably describe each of them – “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (Proverbs 31:29). Happy Mother’s Day!
Clearwater police released footage showing three teenagers breaking into a home. They were stealing headphones, sports memorabilia and a pair of Michael Jordan-brand sneakers. Days later, Sandra Green saw the video and said she was “heartbroken” to see that her son was one of the three people wanted.
“I was heartbroken because I know I didn’t raise him like that,” she told a television station. “I told him, ‘Come home, take your shower, get something to eat, I am about to take you over there to Clearwater, and turn you in." Clearwater police arrested the young man and charged him with burglary and grand theft.
The mother told a judge she wanted her son to be put on probation with the requirement that he get back on the path to graduate from high school. “He is not hardcore. I feel like he will break tonight. But I want to make sure that it sinks in.”
Throughout the life of a mother, she is confronted with difficult decisions. The difficulty often increases as children grow. For career women, many abandon career ambitions and accept the new challenges of motherhood. Others surrender economic stability and opt for developing character and value in their children. Simply put, mothers make huge personal sacrifices in attempting to nurture their offspring. Sometimes that passion to produce excellence in their children forces them to make tough decisions, all in the interest of their children.
That passion for character development prompted another mother to also turn her son in to the police. Lakesha Robinson was at her son’s school for a parent-teacher conference. She noticed his attention was on a cell phone that she didn’t recognize. She said, “what are you doing with this phone? Whose phone is this?”
He told his mother that the cell phone was given to him by a friend, but she wasn’t buying his story; therefore, she conducted her own investigation and uncovered the real owner of the phone.
The owner told the mother-of-three that his car was broken into and his cellphone, wallet, and credit cards had been stolen. He went on to say that his credit cards had been used at McDonald’s and Walmart. “Since my son had the phone, it’s obvious that he knows something about this theft.” But, when she asked her son about the burglary, he denied it – that’s when she continued her investigation. A McDonald’s bag, a Walmart bag, and a receipt were found inside her home and she called the cell phone owner to see if the amounts matched his statements.
The mother arranged a meeting with the owner and returned his property. Afterward, the Florida mother didn’t hesitate to turn her son in for burglary because of her own criminal background. She did not want her son to make the same mistakes she did before changing her life. Her son was arrested and taken to a juvenile detention center for 12 hours and charged with four counts of burglary.
As I reflect on Mother’s Day 2018, I am forced to recall experiences with the mothers I know best – my own mother, my wife who mothered three, and our daughter who is mothering four. These three women, representing three different generations have taught me much. Each of these women displayed toughness in their parenting. They sacrificed much, displayed tenderness, but never surrendered toughness. Thankfully, none of these women have had to report their children to the police.
At this time of year, I salute them – I salute each of them because, in their mothering, they cared more for the character than the image of their children. I salute these women because their passion for Jesus is greater than their passion for religion. The words of the Proverbs 31 woman ably describe each of them – “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (Proverbs 31:29). Happy Mother’s Day!
Sunday, May 6, 2018
Laugh Out Loud!
When last have you had a good laugh? Did you know that laughter is good for you? When we laugh we stretch muscles throughout our face and body. As a matter of fact, our pulse and blood pressure go up, and we breathe faster, sending more oxygen to our tissues.
Some psychologists believe, laughing is one way in which we express our true selves. We may learn how to walk, stand, sit, and eat properly, but when we genuinely laugh, we lay all pretense aside as our carefully polished image goes right out the window.
A researcher from Vanderbilt University, conducted a study in which he measured the amount of calories expended in laughing. It turned out that 10 to 15 minutes of laughter burned 50 calories. William Fry, a pioneer in laughter research, claimed “it took 10 minutes on a rowing machine for his heart rate to reach the level it would after just one minute of hearty laughter.”
The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin's memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies helped him feel better. He said that 10 minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep. The bottom line, laughter is good for you.
However, in affirming the value of laughter, I am not attempting to justify frivolity, vulgarity or even jokes at another’s expense. The biblical counsel must still be our guide – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
In his book, Laughter: A Scientific Investigation (Penguin Books, 2001), Robert Provine, contends, “laughter has a social function. In the absence of stimulating media (television, radio or books), people are about 30 times more likely to laugh when they are in a social situation than when they are alone.” Indeed, people are more likely to smile or talk to themselves than they are to laugh when they are alone. Aside from the obvious implication that sociality can enhance laughter and perhaps one's mood, these observations strongly suggest that laughter is a social signal.
Laughter binds people together. It synchronizes the brains of speaker and listener, so that they are emotionally attuned. Provine believes that laughter establishes or restores a positive emotional climate and a sense of connection between two people, who literally take pleasure in the company of each other. There is a sense in which levity can defuse anger and anxiety, and in so doing strengthen relationships.
I would tend to agree that laughter is a tool. It is the tool that is often used to build relationships. Professor Provine contends that "laughter is social, so any health benefits might really come from being close with friends and family, and not necessarily from laughter itself."
The Bible encourages laughter, when viewed as a physical expression of joy or cheerfulness. In the book of Proverbs we read, “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).
There is a healing effect when we are joyful, cheerful people. The word used for "joyful" here is the Hebrew word "sameah" which means, 'to be glad, happy, or joyful.' The idea behind this word is that someone is choosing to rejoice - to consider the good that God has done, rather than the misery and the opportunity to be sad and depressed.
Apart from the joy that the cheerful heart brings, the Proverbs text mentions “a crushed spirit as drying-up the bones”. This powerful contrasting imagery has been confirmed in research done by the American Medical Association - if you forcefully restrain a normally active rat, deadly frustration results. The emotional stress produces lethal results.
So, if laughter is a social signal of personal and communal joy, then the question needs to be answered – when last have you had a good laugh? In the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that “there is a time to laugh” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). If you have not laughed for a long time, you might need to check-out a therapist – you need help!
Some psychologists believe, laughing is one way in which we express our true selves. We may learn how to walk, stand, sit, and eat properly, but when we genuinely laugh, we lay all pretense aside as our carefully polished image goes right out the window.
A researcher from Vanderbilt University, conducted a study in which he measured the amount of calories expended in laughing. It turned out that 10 to 15 minutes of laughter burned 50 calories. William Fry, a pioneer in laughter research, claimed “it took 10 minutes on a rowing machine for his heart rate to reach the level it would after just one minute of hearty laughter.”
The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin's memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies helped him feel better. He said that 10 minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep. The bottom line, laughter is good for you.
However, in affirming the value of laughter, I am not attempting to justify frivolity, vulgarity or even jokes at another’s expense. The biblical counsel must still be our guide – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
In his book, Laughter: A Scientific Investigation (Penguin Books, 2001), Robert Provine, contends, “laughter has a social function. In the absence of stimulating media (television, radio or books), people are about 30 times more likely to laugh when they are in a social situation than when they are alone.” Indeed, people are more likely to smile or talk to themselves than they are to laugh when they are alone. Aside from the obvious implication that sociality can enhance laughter and perhaps one's mood, these observations strongly suggest that laughter is a social signal.
Laughter binds people together. It synchronizes the brains of speaker and listener, so that they are emotionally attuned. Provine believes that laughter establishes or restores a positive emotional climate and a sense of connection between two people, who literally take pleasure in the company of each other. There is a sense in which levity can defuse anger and anxiety, and in so doing strengthen relationships.
I would tend to agree that laughter is a tool. It is the tool that is often used to build relationships. Professor Provine contends that "laughter is social, so any health benefits might really come from being close with friends and family, and not necessarily from laughter itself."
The Bible encourages laughter, when viewed as a physical expression of joy or cheerfulness. In the book of Proverbs we read, “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).
There is a healing effect when we are joyful, cheerful people. The word used for "joyful" here is the Hebrew word "sameah" which means, 'to be glad, happy, or joyful.' The idea behind this word is that someone is choosing to rejoice - to consider the good that God has done, rather than the misery and the opportunity to be sad and depressed.
Apart from the joy that the cheerful heart brings, the Proverbs text mentions “a crushed spirit as drying-up the bones”. This powerful contrasting imagery has been confirmed in research done by the American Medical Association - if you forcefully restrain a normally active rat, deadly frustration results. The emotional stress produces lethal results.
So, if laughter is a social signal of personal and communal joy, then the question needs to be answered – when last have you had a good laugh? In the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that “there is a time to laugh” (Ecclesiastes 3:4). If you have not laughed for a long time, you might need to check-out a therapist – you need help!
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
I Intend to Vote!
Upon becoming a citizen of the United States, I knew I would earn the right to vote - that right I cherish. Especially now, considering that some 70% of Americans believe that the country is on the wrong track. My vote might just make the difference to stem this downward trend.
Agreed, the political climate is toxic. However, that toxicity is because of the personalities in the presidential race and not because of the issues at stake. To ignore the issues and focus almost exclusively on leadership traits is a distraction. From a recent survey, the American Psychological Association concluded that more than 50% of American adults view the 2016 election cycle as “a very or somewhat” significant source of stress.
Interestingly, the stress is not only among Americans. Stress and curiosity go beyond foreign policy and security. American policies on trade, immigration, the environment and even health care often carry implications for other nations.
I can make a difference and I intend to do so on Tuesday, November 8. However, as I prayerfully prepare myself to vote, I know that I cannot limit my thinking to the two presidential candidates. As far as I am concerned, both candidates lack the moral authority to lead America. To date, the variety of salacious disclosures will make it very difficult for either candidate to lead with integrity.
However, as I prepare to vote, I will be forced to vote for the candidate who best represents the positions which are important to me. I will vote for the candidate who supports the appointment of justices and judges who respect constitutional limits and the authority of states.
I am aware that the next president may select as many as four justices to the Supreme Court. These justices will decide on cultural issues that will affect me, my children and my grandchildren. Both presidential candidates have indicated the kind of persons they would like to serve on the Supreme Court – there is a stark ideological difference. In addition, the next president will appoint district and appellate judges throughout the nation.
As a person of color, I am very concerned that on average, 870 black babies are aborted every day in the United States. Did you know that, annually, abortion among black Americans causes more deaths than every other cause of death combined? Regardless of color, every life is sacred, and I will be voting for a presidential candidate that is sensitive to this concern.
My faith defines me and the Bill of Rights protects my right to practice my faith. I want to live according to the dictates of my conscience. I have no problem living in a religiously diverse culture. I want to be sure that all faith-based institutions are protected from government discrimination. Whichever presidential candidate protects these rights will get my vote.
The institution of marriage, defined as a union between a man and a woman, has served every culture for millennia. Both social scientists and theologians will agree that “the institution of marriage is the relationship that best provides for the most favorable exercise of human sexuality, the overall well-being of adults, and the proper socialization of children.” Agreed, other familial relationships meet similar needs. However, lifelong, monogamous marriage is the best option.
If the above is true, then why demonize this option? Researcher Glen Stanton is correct, “Marriage has no close rival. It stands independently above any other option: singleness, cohabitation, divorce and remarriage.” I am eager to vote for a candidate who shares my passion.
When my family and I came to this country 25 years ago, our privileges were limited by our overseas student status. I was determined to live within the immigration limits placed on us. I had a moral obligation to model to my children that we were a law-abiding family. In addition, I had a biblical obligation to display consistency in all areas of my life. We were deprived of luxuries, but maintained our integrity.
I want other immigrants to have a similar appreciation for the laws of the land. It was good to hear the officer say at my citizenship interview, “We are sorry it took so long, but welcome to America.” I plan to vote for a presidential candidate who respects the process of law and order when it comes to immigration. Everyone wins when we play clean. You now know why I intend to vote on November 8.
Agreed, the political climate is toxic. However, that toxicity is because of the personalities in the presidential race and not because of the issues at stake. To ignore the issues and focus almost exclusively on leadership traits is a distraction. From a recent survey, the American Psychological Association concluded that more than 50% of American adults view the 2016 election cycle as “a very or somewhat” significant source of stress.
Interestingly, the stress is not only among Americans. Stress and curiosity go beyond foreign policy and security. American policies on trade, immigration, the environment and even health care often carry implications for other nations.
I can make a difference and I intend to do so on Tuesday, November 8. However, as I prayerfully prepare myself to vote, I know that I cannot limit my thinking to the two presidential candidates. As far as I am concerned, both candidates lack the moral authority to lead America. To date, the variety of salacious disclosures will make it very difficult for either candidate to lead with integrity.
However, as I prepare to vote, I will be forced to vote for the candidate who best represents the positions which are important to me. I will vote for the candidate who supports the appointment of justices and judges who respect constitutional limits and the authority of states.
I am aware that the next president may select as many as four justices to the Supreme Court. These justices will decide on cultural issues that will affect me, my children and my grandchildren. Both presidential candidates have indicated the kind of persons they would like to serve on the Supreme Court – there is a stark ideological difference. In addition, the next president will appoint district and appellate judges throughout the nation.
As a person of color, I am very concerned that on average, 870 black babies are aborted every day in the United States. Did you know that, annually, abortion among black Americans causes more deaths than every other cause of death combined? Regardless of color, every life is sacred, and I will be voting for a presidential candidate that is sensitive to this concern.
My faith defines me and the Bill of Rights protects my right to practice my faith. I want to live according to the dictates of my conscience. I have no problem living in a religiously diverse culture. I want to be sure that all faith-based institutions are protected from government discrimination. Whichever presidential candidate protects these rights will get my vote.
The institution of marriage, defined as a union between a man and a woman, has served every culture for millennia. Both social scientists and theologians will agree that “the institution of marriage is the relationship that best provides for the most favorable exercise of human sexuality, the overall well-being of adults, and the proper socialization of children.” Agreed, other familial relationships meet similar needs. However, lifelong, monogamous marriage is the best option.
If the above is true, then why demonize this option? Researcher Glen Stanton is correct, “Marriage has no close rival. It stands independently above any other option: singleness, cohabitation, divorce and remarriage.” I am eager to vote for a candidate who shares my passion.
When my family and I came to this country 25 years ago, our privileges were limited by our overseas student status. I was determined to live within the immigration limits placed on us. I had a moral obligation to model to my children that we were a law-abiding family. In addition, I had a biblical obligation to display consistency in all areas of my life. We were deprived of luxuries, but maintained our integrity.
I want other immigrants to have a similar appreciation for the laws of the land. It was good to hear the officer say at my citizenship interview, “We are sorry it took so long, but welcome to America.” I plan to vote for a presidential candidate who respects the process of law and order when it comes to immigration. Everyone wins when we play clean. You now know why I intend to vote on November 8.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Death of Marriage?
On June 23 my wife and I celebrated 43 years of marriage. Our celebrations included a 1200-mile road trip from Missouri to Florida. On the actual day of our anniversary, we awoke to a Jamaican breakfast, prepared by the woman who catered for our wedding in 1973 – how nostalgic!
However, much of that nostalgia fades in light of the growing decline of traditional marriage in America. A recent study from the Pew Research Center found a number of interesting trends in their most recent look at marriage in America. For one, the study found that after years of declining marriage rates, the percentage of Americans who have never been married has reached a historic high point.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, within the last ten years, homes headed by married couples increased by 7%. Within the same period, homes headed by unmarried couples increased by 72%.
According to Sam Sturgeon, president of Demographic Intelligence, “the United States has been experiencing a “cultural retreat from marriage”. Factors like economics, education, careers and decline in religious interest contribute significantly to the decline in traditional marriage.
However, we need to ask ourselves, is traditional marriage significant enough to warrant defending? Some in human potential movements view marriage as a potential threat to individual fulfillment. Proponents of the new psychologies contend that marriage thwarts the highest forms of human needs – autonomy, independence, growth and creativity.
According to Waite and Gallagher, in their volume, The Case for Marriage, “the search for autonomy and independence as the highest good blossomed with the women’s movement into a critique of marriage per se, which the more flamboyant feminists denounced as ‘slavery and legalized rape, tied up with a sense of dependency.’”
That assessment does not describe what my wife and I have experienced in marriage. Our advanced studies and experience have given us reason to believe that our marriage has been good for our children, their children and the wider community.
Valuable research confirms that by a broad range of indices, marriage is actually better for you. Married people live longer, are healthier, accumulate more wealth, feel more fulfillment in their lives, enjoy more satisfying sexual relationships, and have happier and more successful children, than persons who remain single, cohabit, or get divorced.
Civil society benefits from stable marriages. Marriage, and by extension, families, are themselves small societies. These societies establish the network of relatives and in-laws and sustain a key ingredient of the “social capital” that facilitates many kinds of beneficial civic associations and private groups.
The virtues acquired within the family – generosity, self-sacrifice, trust, self-discipline – are crucial in every domain of social life. Children who grow up in broken families often fail to acquire these elemental habits of character.
Children, whose parents fail to get and stay married are at an increased risk of poverty, dependency, substance abuse, educational failure, juvenile delinquency, early unwed pregnancy, and a host of other destructive behaviors. When whole families and neighborhoods become dominated by fatherless homes, these risks increase even further.
Strong, intact families stabilize the state and decrease the need for costly and intrusive bureaucratic social agencies. Families provide for their vulnerable members, produce new citizens with virtues such as loyalty and generosity and engender concern for the common good.
Given the clear benefits of marriage, I believe the state should defend traditional marriage against the intrusion of alternative family structures that are incapable of producing comparable social outcomes. The public goods uniquely provided by traditional marriage are recognizable by reasonable persons, regardless of religious or secular worldviews.
The Witherspoon Institute, in its publication, Marriage and the Public Good, accurately states that “in virtually every known human society, the institution of marriage has served and continues to serve three important public purposes. First, marriage is the institution through which societies seek to organize the bearing and rearing of children.
Secondly, marriage provides direction, order and stability to adult sexual unions. Lastly, marriage civilizes men, furnishing them with a sense of purpose, norms and social status that orient their lives away from vice and toward virtue.”
Long before these studies, the Bible referred to marriage as honorable (Hebrews 13:4). In its original form, “honorable” implies, valuable, priceless, worthy of respect and deserving of esteem. For the last 43 years, I have found that to be true.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Happy New Year!
Respond to the following - depending on your answers, I will know if you are my colleague:
□ I used a manual typewriter
□ I used a public telephone booth
□ I used a slate in kindergarten
□ I used reel to reel audio recordings
□ I used black and white television
If you never used any of the above items, you are younger than I am. What a difference a few decades make. Today I don’t know if I can function without an iPhone or my laptop. Even words like tablets and default have new meanings.
My world has changed and I must be prepared to change with it. If I don’t, very soon I may not be able to communicate with my grandchildren. One grandson was not even four, when he explained some function on the television to my wife.
With that backdrop we say, Welcome to 2016 – a year when many jobs will disappear and be replaced by smart machines. Although wanting greater independence, many younger people will continue to depend on older folks to make ends meet.
A freshly released Pew Research Center study indicates that a larger-than-expected percentage of young people are still living with their parents rather than moving out and perhaps buying a place of their own.
Some of these young people have been referred to as the grab-and-go generation, with 29% saying that they often purchase food and drink while on the run, compared with 19% of consumers overall. Research is confirming that gas stations/ convenience stores are becoming the preferred choice for fast foods among post-millennialists.
But to whom are we referring when we talk about post-millennialists? We are talking about young people born since the late nineties – they are dubbed Generation Z, home-landers and at times, simply posts. Many posts know nothing about 9/11.
Today’s 'posts' want to be defined by being connected, both from a technological standpoint and a social standpoint. They don't think money matters much and they're not interested in taking on debt. According to one sociologist, “posts are not colossally ambitious, perhaps as a coping mechanism, but they're optimistic in the face of economic challenges.”
As they grow up and begin living on their own, posts likely will adopt a near-migrant lifestyle, zeroing in on warm cities that offer an abundance of inexpensive housing and fledgling indie (independent) scenes. They'll move constantly in an attempt to find better work, better balance and that ever-elusive happiness.
I chuckle at times when I see how my students think – at times I am looking for a notepad (note book) on which to write. While I am looking, they are recording the same information digitally, using their smart phones. They transfer notes to their smart phones. They shop using their smart phones. At church, they read their Bibles on their smart phones.
Did you know that in order to understand future trends, one can even pursue as course in Professional Foresight? This is a transdisciplinary educational program of study that seeks to improve one's ability to create, anticipate, and manage change in a variety of domains, on a variety of scales, and using a variety of specialties. Creating, anticipating, and managing change in our increasingly fast-paced and globalized technological world is an ongoing challenge, and building a global culture of foresight proficiency provides great social value.
For many of us who will not be pursuing courses in Professional Foresight, there is no need to feel useless as we look at 2016 and the years ahead. Whereas many of the courses equip students to analyze, providing solutions is another matter. Considering that habits are better caught than taught, I believe someone needs to model value-based solutions to tomorrow’s generation.
Many of us who raised children without the frequent support of grandparents, must now make ourselves available to our children and grandchildren. We need to pass on our understanding of commitment and stability, crucial in any family. Even though we faced major challenges, we understood the value of commitment in times of crisis. We resolved our differences privately, face to face, not publicly via Facebook.
We made time to eat together. At those meal tables we learned graces; we learned to appreciate community; we respected authority and valued faith. In addition, we learned to be content with what was served. This is why I intend to invite some young families to maintain this family board room - a place where nourishment and nurturing flourish – that’s my New Year resolution.
□ I used a manual typewriter
□ I used a public telephone booth
□ I used a slate in kindergarten
□ I used reel to reel audio recordings
□ I used black and white television
If you never used any of the above items, you are younger than I am. What a difference a few decades make. Today I don’t know if I can function without an iPhone or my laptop. Even words like tablets and default have new meanings.
My world has changed and I must be prepared to change with it. If I don’t, very soon I may not be able to communicate with my grandchildren. One grandson was not even four, when he explained some function on the television to my wife.
With that backdrop we say, Welcome to 2016 – a year when many jobs will disappear and be replaced by smart machines. Although wanting greater independence, many younger people will continue to depend on older folks to make ends meet.
A freshly released Pew Research Center study indicates that a larger-than-expected percentage of young people are still living with their parents rather than moving out and perhaps buying a place of their own.
Some of these young people have been referred to as the grab-and-go generation, with 29% saying that they often purchase food and drink while on the run, compared with 19% of consumers overall. Research is confirming that gas stations/ convenience stores are becoming the preferred choice for fast foods among post-millennialists.
But to whom are we referring when we talk about post-millennialists? We are talking about young people born since the late nineties – they are dubbed Generation Z, home-landers and at times, simply posts. Many posts know nothing about 9/11.
Today’s 'posts' want to be defined by being connected, both from a technological standpoint and a social standpoint. They don't think money matters much and they're not interested in taking on debt. According to one sociologist, “posts are not colossally ambitious, perhaps as a coping mechanism, but they're optimistic in the face of economic challenges.”
As they grow up and begin living on their own, posts likely will adopt a near-migrant lifestyle, zeroing in on warm cities that offer an abundance of inexpensive housing and fledgling indie (independent) scenes. They'll move constantly in an attempt to find better work, better balance and that ever-elusive happiness.
I chuckle at times when I see how my students think – at times I am looking for a notepad (note book) on which to write. While I am looking, they are recording the same information digitally, using their smart phones. They transfer notes to their smart phones. They shop using their smart phones. At church, they read their Bibles on their smart phones.
Did you know that in order to understand future trends, one can even pursue as course in Professional Foresight? This is a transdisciplinary educational program of study that seeks to improve one's ability to create, anticipate, and manage change in a variety of domains, on a variety of scales, and using a variety of specialties. Creating, anticipating, and managing change in our increasingly fast-paced and globalized technological world is an ongoing challenge, and building a global culture of foresight proficiency provides great social value.
For many of us who will not be pursuing courses in Professional Foresight, there is no need to feel useless as we look at 2016 and the years ahead. Whereas many of the courses equip students to analyze, providing solutions is another matter. Considering that habits are better caught than taught, I believe someone needs to model value-based solutions to tomorrow’s generation.
Many of us who raised children without the frequent support of grandparents, must now make ourselves available to our children and grandchildren. We need to pass on our understanding of commitment and stability, crucial in any family. Even though we faced major challenges, we understood the value of commitment in times of crisis. We resolved our differences privately, face to face, not publicly via Facebook.
We made time to eat together. At those meal tables we learned graces; we learned to appreciate community; we respected authority and valued faith. In addition, we learned to be content with what was served. This is why I intend to invite some young families to maintain this family board room - a place where nourishment and nurturing flourish – that’s my New Year resolution.
Monday, November 2, 2015
EVERY Black Life Matters
The fact that black leaders have served as President, Attorneys General, Secretaries of State and other cabinet positions does not make a difference – there are voices in America that contend, the lives of some black people do not matter. The issue concerns an ethnic group – black skinned people. People in this category are often of African descent.
As a member of this ethnic group, I am very concerned about specific behaviors in our society that suggest, black-skinned people do not matter. In response to that attitude, I contend, “Every Black Life Matters.” Here are some situations that help to shape my concerns.
ABORTION
In the United States, more black babies are killed by abortion than any other ethnic group. Black children are aborted at nearly four times the rate as white children. A black abortion rate that for years has vastly surpassed that of every other racial group. Thirty out of every 1,000 black women obtained an abortion in 2011. That rate is nearly triple that of white women and double that of Hispanic women. Put succinctly, while about 13 percent of Americans are black, more than one-third of all abortions are administered to black women. (source)
FAMILY LIFE
In black communities, more babies are born out of wedlock than any other ethnic group - preliminary data indicate that 40.7 percent of all 2012 births were out-of-wedlock, which is appalling, and there are vast differences among racial and ethnic groups. Among non-Hispanic blacks, the figure is highest, at 72.2 percent; for American Indians/Alaska Natives, it’s 66.9 percent; 53.5 percent for Hispanics; 29.4 percent for non-Hispanic whites; and a mere 17.1 percent for Asians/Pacific Islanders. (source)
CRIME
Black people in the United States are more likely to be victims of violent confrontations with police officers than whites because blacks commit more violent crimes than whites per capita.
Despite making up just 13% of the population, blacks commit around half of homicides in the United States. DOJ statistics show that between 1980 and 2008, blacks committed 52% of homicides, compared to 45% of homicides committed by whites. More up to date FBI statistics tell a similar story. In 2013, black criminals carried out 38% of murders, compared to 31.1% for whites, again despite the fact that there are five times more white people in the U.S.
UNEMPLOYMENT
The unemployment rates among blacks are higher than any other ethnic group in America. In February, the unemployment rate for African-Americans was 10.4 percent, while the comparable rates for whites, Hispanics and Asians were 4.7 percent, 6.6 percent and 4.0 percent, in that order, according to data recently released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
MARRIAGE
The black divorcee rate has increased nearly five-fold over the last thirty years, and is double the rate of the general population. The result, according to The Decline in Marriage Among African Americans, is a greater share of family responsibilities being borne by women, an increased vulnerability to poverty and violence, and an erosion of community ties.
Were it not so painful, I could go on to provide statistics on incarceration, education and drugs. Honestly, we need a campaign where politicians, educators, religious leaders and everyone committed to human development would engage in civil conversation. We need a non-partisan approach to bring about healing within black communities.
I beg to disagree with those who argue that because of slavery the situation is hopeless. As a nation, and since slavery, America has benefited greatly from the contributions of blacks. There are many blacks who have invented a multitude of items or made discoveries in the course of their lives. These have ranged from practical everyday devices to applications and scientific discoveries in diverse fields, including physics, biology, mathematics, plus the medical, nuclear and space sciences.
I sincerely believe a big part of the solution is in the family. Stable families provide the foundation for stable communities. It is in the family we learn to respect authority structures. It is in the family we learn the value of faith and appreciate social graces.
Social experiments have invited parents to explore career opportunities, thus limiting the time parents spend nurturing their children. Electronic devices and social services cannot and should not be expected to replace parents.
Let us stop the posturing and get to the heart of the matter. Let us begin to educate and reward healthy families. We cannot continue to empower single mothers and allow irresponsible fathers to abscond. If every black life matters, we must be intentional and address the family, the nursery for stable communities.
As a member of this ethnic group, I am very concerned about specific behaviors in our society that suggest, black-skinned people do not matter. In response to that attitude, I contend, “Every Black Life Matters.” Here are some situations that help to shape my concerns.
ABORTION
In the United States, more black babies are killed by abortion than any other ethnic group. Black children are aborted at nearly four times the rate as white children. A black abortion rate that for years has vastly surpassed that of every other racial group. Thirty out of every 1,000 black women obtained an abortion in 2011. That rate is nearly triple that of white women and double that of Hispanic women. Put succinctly, while about 13 percent of Americans are black, more than one-third of all abortions are administered to black women. (source)
FAMILY LIFE
In black communities, more babies are born out of wedlock than any other ethnic group - preliminary data indicate that 40.7 percent of all 2012 births were out-of-wedlock, which is appalling, and there are vast differences among racial and ethnic groups. Among non-Hispanic blacks, the figure is highest, at 72.2 percent; for American Indians/Alaska Natives, it’s 66.9 percent; 53.5 percent for Hispanics; 29.4 percent for non-Hispanic whites; and a mere 17.1 percent for Asians/Pacific Islanders. (source)
CRIME
Black people in the United States are more likely to be victims of violent confrontations with police officers than whites because blacks commit more violent crimes than whites per capita.
Despite making up just 13% of the population, blacks commit around half of homicides in the United States. DOJ statistics show that between 1980 and 2008, blacks committed 52% of homicides, compared to 45% of homicides committed by whites. More up to date FBI statistics tell a similar story. In 2013, black criminals carried out 38% of murders, compared to 31.1% for whites, again despite the fact that there are five times more white people in the U.S.
UNEMPLOYMENT
The unemployment rates among blacks are higher than any other ethnic group in America. In February, the unemployment rate for African-Americans was 10.4 percent, while the comparable rates for whites, Hispanics and Asians were 4.7 percent, 6.6 percent and 4.0 percent, in that order, according to data recently released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
MARRIAGE
The black divorcee rate has increased nearly five-fold over the last thirty years, and is double the rate of the general population. The result, according to The Decline in Marriage Among African Americans, is a greater share of family responsibilities being borne by women, an increased vulnerability to poverty and violence, and an erosion of community ties.
Were it not so painful, I could go on to provide statistics on incarceration, education and drugs. Honestly, we need a campaign where politicians, educators, religious leaders and everyone committed to human development would engage in civil conversation. We need a non-partisan approach to bring about healing within black communities.
I beg to disagree with those who argue that because of slavery the situation is hopeless. As a nation, and since slavery, America has benefited greatly from the contributions of blacks. There are many blacks who have invented a multitude of items or made discoveries in the course of their lives. These have ranged from practical everyday devices to applications and scientific discoveries in diverse fields, including physics, biology, mathematics, plus the medical, nuclear and space sciences.
I sincerely believe a big part of the solution is in the family. Stable families provide the foundation for stable communities. It is in the family we learn to respect authority structures. It is in the family we learn the value of faith and appreciate social graces.
Social experiments have invited parents to explore career opportunities, thus limiting the time parents spend nurturing their children. Electronic devices and social services cannot and should not be expected to replace parents.
Let us stop the posturing and get to the heart of the matter. Let us begin to educate and reward healthy families. We cannot continue to empower single mothers and allow irresponsible fathers to abscond. If every black life matters, we must be intentional and address the family, the nursery for stable communities.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Goodnight Friend
When teenage children feel as comfortable as their parents, with their parents’ friends, something special is happening. We found that to be true after meeting Jack and Karen Mitchell almost 25 years ago.
The relationship between our families was so special that we had hoped some lifelong relationship could develop among the children.
Our friend Jack died a few days ago. Last year he was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. Recent research suggests the disease is possibly caused by sawdust, allergies, acid reflux, all of which Jack had or was exposed to. The disease causes the lung tissue to scar, thus not allowing oxygen to get through to the cells.
We met Jack in Illinois, shortly after coming to America to pursue advanced studies in 1991. Our paths crossed frequently as I shared the pulpit at the church he pastored in Wheaton. Those engagements often included family meals and opportunities to meet other foreign students studying in the area.
After relocating, 400 miles seemed near as we travelled to surprise Jack for his fiftieth birthday. He and Karen even travelled further in order to visit us in Florida. The internet kept us together as the Mitchells moved to Budapest and later Kenya. A few months ago we travelled almost 3,000 miles to visit Jack for the last time.
It was during that visit in California we reminisced on family times, his missionary assignments in the Caribbean, Europe and Africa. We laughed, sang and remembered the Lord Jesus in the ordinance of communion.
I will miss Jack. He was an encourager and very dear friend. At times, he would be the only person to comment on my weekly commentaries. He was an astute thinker and student of the Scriptures. I will miss his insightful comments. Sometimes I wondered why he thought it necessary to get my permission to share my commentaries with his students in Kenya – he was so authentic. He just never wasted an opportunity to bless someone else.
Upon learning of his death, I am discovering that many others around the world share my sentiments.
Like Mausau Elijah, who in 2011 was leading a fellowship group in Jack’s house at Scott Christian University, Kenya. His opening remarks to the group were, "where will you be five years from now"? Among the many answers, Mausau remembers, “Jack, my mentor, friend, teacher, the disciple of righteousness said, 'I will be in heaven.’”
Jack was right, within five years he is no longer with us. What is obvious from the many tributes paid to Jack, is a sense of loss. Loss for Karen, his wife of more than 47 years. Loss for his four adult children and fourteen grandchildren. Loss for thousands of students, parishioners and friends. Much grief and great loss, but not hopelessness.
When confronted with the loss of loved ones in their church, the Thessalonians got word to the apostle Paul about their emotional and spiritual ambivalence. In his reply, he acknowledged the emotional impact of grief. However, he made a distinction between the grief one experiences when a Christian dies, as opposed to when a non-Christian dies.
Hear Paul’s actual words, “Brothers, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who fall asleep, or grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). The implication is clear – Christians who die have hope. We understand that inscriptions on tombs and references in literature show that first-century non-Christians viewed death with horror. Death was the end of everything.
Paul contends, Christians should view death differently. For the Christian it is a confidence in crisis. That confidence is not in the loss of the loved one, but the outcome that results from that loss. But how is a confident outcome possible if someone is dead? Isn’t death a cessation of life?
Actually, in this context, Paul preferred the term “fall asleep” instead of death. The term “fall asleep” conveys the idea of temporariness, as opposed to permanent absence. In the following verse Paul goes on to provide a basis for his “fall asleep” idea.
He argues, “... Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him” (v.14). Paul resorts to history, not philosophy to substantiate his point. As far as he was concerned, the death and resurrection of Jesus were historical realities. Similarly, Christians who die, will rise again, just as Jesus died and rose again.
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul reinforces this point: “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost...” (1 Corinthians 15:16-20). In other words, the Christian’s hope is not in a mere idea, but in a Person – Jesus Christ.
It is for this reason, I found it more appropriate to entitle this commentary “Goodnight Friend” – a Good Morning is anticipated when the Mitchell family and Jack will meet again.
 |
| The Mitchell and Corbin families in Wheaton, Illinois. |
 |
| Jack & Karen with our daughter, Candace at a Fountainside church picnic in Florida. |
Our friend Jack died a few days ago. Last year he was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. Recent research suggests the disease is possibly caused by sawdust, allergies, acid reflux, all of which Jack had or was exposed to. The disease causes the lung tissue to scar, thus not allowing oxygen to get through to the cells.
We met Jack in Illinois, shortly after coming to America to pursue advanced studies in 1991. Our paths crossed frequently as I shared the pulpit at the church he pastored in Wheaton. Those engagements often included family meals and opportunities to meet other foreign students studying in the area.
After relocating, 400 miles seemed near as we travelled to surprise Jack for his fiftieth birthday. He and Karen even travelled further in order to visit us in Florida. The internet kept us together as the Mitchells moved to Budapest and later Kenya. A few months ago we travelled almost 3,000 miles to visit Jack for the last time.
It was during that visit in California we reminisced on family times, his missionary assignments in the Caribbean, Europe and Africa. We laughed, sang and remembered the Lord Jesus in the ordinance of communion.
I will miss Jack. He was an encourager and very dear friend. At times, he would be the only person to comment on my weekly commentaries. He was an astute thinker and student of the Scriptures. I will miss his insightful comments. Sometimes I wondered why he thought it necessary to get my permission to share my commentaries with his students in Kenya – he was so authentic. He just never wasted an opportunity to bless someone else.
Upon learning of his death, I am discovering that many others around the world share my sentiments.
Like Mausau Elijah, who in 2011 was leading a fellowship group in Jack’s house at Scott Christian University, Kenya. His opening remarks to the group were, "where will you be five years from now"? Among the many answers, Mausau remembers, “Jack, my mentor, friend, teacher, the disciple of righteousness said, 'I will be in heaven.’”
Jack was right, within five years he is no longer with us. What is obvious from the many tributes paid to Jack, is a sense of loss. Loss for Karen, his wife of more than 47 years. Loss for his four adult children and fourteen grandchildren. Loss for thousands of students, parishioners and friends. Much grief and great loss, but not hopelessness.
When confronted with the loss of loved ones in their church, the Thessalonians got word to the apostle Paul about their emotional and spiritual ambivalence. In his reply, he acknowledged the emotional impact of grief. However, he made a distinction between the grief one experiences when a Christian dies, as opposed to when a non-Christian dies.
Hear Paul’s actual words, “Brothers, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who fall asleep, or grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). The implication is clear – Christians who die have hope. We understand that inscriptions on tombs and references in literature show that first-century non-Christians viewed death with horror. Death was the end of everything.
Paul contends, Christians should view death differently. For the Christian it is a confidence in crisis. That confidence is not in the loss of the loved one, but the outcome that results from that loss. But how is a confident outcome possible if someone is dead? Isn’t death a cessation of life?
Actually, in this context, Paul preferred the term “fall asleep” instead of death. The term “fall asleep” conveys the idea of temporariness, as opposed to permanent absence. In the following verse Paul goes on to provide a basis for his “fall asleep” idea.
He argues, “... Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him” (v.14). Paul resorts to history, not philosophy to substantiate his point. As far as he was concerned, the death and resurrection of Jesus were historical realities. Similarly, Christians who die, will rise again, just as Jesus died and rose again.
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul reinforces this point: “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost...” (1 Corinthians 15:16-20). In other words, the Christian’s hope is not in a mere idea, but in a Person – Jesus Christ.
It is for this reason, I found it more appropriate to entitle this commentary “Goodnight Friend” – a Good Morning is anticipated when the Mitchell family and Jack will meet again.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Boys and Girls!
In announcing the arrival of our seventh grandchild, our son and his wife engaged in an online discussion with friends about the gender of the child. That kind of gender chatter is fast becoming outdated. The online discussion assumed two genders – male and female. However, in this evolving season of gender neutrality, some activists believe that there are many more types of genders to consider.
Gender neutrality, which incorporates gender-blindness, is opposed to distinguishing people by gender. The idea is to remove any form of gender discrimination in any form of activities and or services provided. Advocates of this view use a purple circle to symbolize gender neutrality. The colored circle is a mixture of colors traditionally used to represent males and females.
It was sensitivity to this gender neutrality culture that prompted Target Stores, the nation’s third-largest retailer, to announce that they will be joining the movement – Target has begun removing signs labeling “boy” and “girls” in multiple departments. The retailer will no longer distinguish between items for boys and items generally preferred by girls.
Target’s website states: “Right now, our teams are working across the store to identify areas where we can phase out gender-based signage to help strike a better balance. For example, in the kids’ Bedding area, signs will no longer feature suggestions for boys or girls, just kids. In the Toys aisles, we’ll also remove reference to gender, including the use of pink, blue, yellow or green paper on the back walls of our shelves. You’ll see these changes start to happen over the next few months.”
All this gender neutral rhetoric is consistent with views held by some sociologists. They contend that gender roles are based on norms or standards, created by society. For instance, masculine roles are usually associated with strength, aggression and dominance.
This school of thought contends that gender socialization begins at birth and occurs through four stages – family, education, peer groups and the media. In other words, much of the behavior we associate with gender is really learned and not inherent or naturally acquired.
Advocates believe, to think otherwise would be to entertain a sexist worldview with prejudiced beliefs that value males over females. Furthermore, advocates believe this stereotypical thinking leads to discrimination, oppression and violence for not adhering to society’s traditional gender roles.
Hogwash – why don’t we take such social theories and apply them to sporting events. For millennia we allow gender distinction in sports because we recognize the differences in strengths between male and female athletes. Such accommodation is guided by biological factors, not sociological.
I agree that some behaviors are designated as appropriate for male or female. However, one cannot ignore that hormonal differences play a significant role in gender differences. This would explain some of the aggression in men.
In her 1989 PhD dissertation at Northwestern University, Psychotherapist Charlotte Smith mapped brain electrical activity and found that women and men process information in different parts of the brain. Other studies confirm that men are naturally more curious and women more attentive to people and social relationships.
John Gray was correct when he wrote, Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus. Here Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to communicate better by understanding and respecting the differences between them. Gray believes that by pretending that men and women are from different planets can help us to deal with the opposite sex in a loving and accepting way, leading to better relationships.
Gender differences were designed, not learned. I still believe “God created man (mankind) in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27).
There are three different Hebrew words in this verse that help us to understand what took place – they are translated; humankind, male and female. The words are not only different, but the meaning of each word is so different that no word can be used interchangeably.
For millennia, researchers have concluded that the behavioral differences between boys and girls are inherent. The behaviors are consistent with hormonal differences. In addition, many of the learned behaviors, are consistent with the hormonal differences inherent in boys and girls.
Agreed, preferences for colors like pink and blue are learned. However, the same cannot be said of athletic prowess, the capacity to nurture and other caring or aggressive behaviors.
God made us different!
Gender neutrality, which incorporates gender-blindness, is opposed to distinguishing people by gender. The idea is to remove any form of gender discrimination in any form of activities and or services provided. Advocates of this view use a purple circle to symbolize gender neutrality. The colored circle is a mixture of colors traditionally used to represent males and females.
It was sensitivity to this gender neutrality culture that prompted Target Stores, the nation’s third-largest retailer, to announce that they will be joining the movement – Target has begun removing signs labeling “boy” and “girls” in multiple departments. The retailer will no longer distinguish between items for boys and items generally preferred by girls.
Target’s website states: “Right now, our teams are working across the store to identify areas where we can phase out gender-based signage to help strike a better balance. For example, in the kids’ Bedding area, signs will no longer feature suggestions for boys or girls, just kids. In the Toys aisles, we’ll also remove reference to gender, including the use of pink, blue, yellow or green paper on the back walls of our shelves. You’ll see these changes start to happen over the next few months.”
All this gender neutral rhetoric is consistent with views held by some sociologists. They contend that gender roles are based on norms or standards, created by society. For instance, masculine roles are usually associated with strength, aggression and dominance.
This school of thought contends that gender socialization begins at birth and occurs through four stages – family, education, peer groups and the media. In other words, much of the behavior we associate with gender is really learned and not inherent or naturally acquired.
Advocates believe, to think otherwise would be to entertain a sexist worldview with prejudiced beliefs that value males over females. Furthermore, advocates believe this stereotypical thinking leads to discrimination, oppression and violence for not adhering to society’s traditional gender roles.
Hogwash – why don’t we take such social theories and apply them to sporting events. For millennia we allow gender distinction in sports because we recognize the differences in strengths between male and female athletes. Such accommodation is guided by biological factors, not sociological.
I agree that some behaviors are designated as appropriate for male or female. However, one cannot ignore that hormonal differences play a significant role in gender differences. This would explain some of the aggression in men.
In her 1989 PhD dissertation at Northwestern University, Psychotherapist Charlotte Smith mapped brain electrical activity and found that women and men process information in different parts of the brain. Other studies confirm that men are naturally more curious and women more attentive to people and social relationships.
John Gray was correct when he wrote, Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus. Here Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to communicate better by understanding and respecting the differences between them. Gray believes that by pretending that men and women are from different planets can help us to deal with the opposite sex in a loving and accepting way, leading to better relationships.
Gender differences were designed, not learned. I still believe “God created man (mankind) in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27).
There are three different Hebrew words in this verse that help us to understand what took place – they are translated; humankind, male and female. The words are not only different, but the meaning of each word is so different that no word can be used interchangeably.
For millennia, researchers have concluded that the behavioral differences between boys and girls are inherent. The behaviors are consistent with hormonal differences. In addition, many of the learned behaviors, are consistent with the hormonal differences inherent in boys and girls.
Agreed, preferences for colors like pink and blue are learned. However, the same cannot be said of athletic prowess, the capacity to nurture and other caring or aggressive behaviors.
God made us different!
Monday, July 27, 2015
Planned Parenthood
A new estimate published by the National Right to Life Committee indicates that there have been an estimated 55 million abortions since the Supreme Court handed down its 1973 Roe vs. Wade decision allowing virtually unlimited abortions. This number means that there are more than 3,300 abortions daily and 140 abortions per hour, every hour in the United States.
Most of these abortions were done by Planned Parenthood Federation of America, commonly shortened to Planned Parenthood, the U.S. affiliate of the International Planned Parenthood Federation. According to its website, Planned Parenthood is “America's most trusted provider of reproductive health care.”
Unfortunately, Planned Parenthood’s history is not as impressive as its website. The vision of Margaret Sanger, one of the two founders of the movement paints a picture of a racist with clear intentions to systematically exterminate black people in America.
In an interview with the New York Times (1923), Sanger said, “Birth control is not contraception indiscriminately and thoughtlessly practiced. It means the release and cultivation of the better racial elements in our society, and the gradual suppression, elimination and eventual extirpation of defective stocks – those human weeds (blacks) which threaten the blooming of the finest flowers of American civilization.”
Sanger established her first full-service “clinic” in Harlem in 1929. Why Harlem, New York - that’s where a lot of the black people, she often referred to as “human weeds”, lived. Sanger described it as “an experimental clinic established for the benefit of the colored people.” In this case, she defined “benefit” as the overall reduction of the black population.
On average, 1,876 black babies are aborted every day in the United States. This incidence of abortion has resulted in a tremendous loss of life. It has been estimated that since 1973 Black women have had about 16 million abortions – 30% of abortions done.
Although this information is known by civil rights leaders and politicians, no one attempts to abort the largest abortion provider in this country. Instead, Planned Parenthood receives more than $500 million annually from tax payers – that means it receives an average of $1.5 million a day to conduct its business.
In order to augment its income as a not-for-profit organization, Planned Parenthood now sells body parts from babies.
Recently, Planned Parenthood was caught in a firestorm of well-deserved controversy after two undercover videos, released by the Center for Medical Progress, seem to implicate them in horrific crimes against the unborn. The videos show two top Planned Parenthood executives discussing the best methods to extract baby body parts intact, and haggling with undercover investigators over the prices of these body parts – how disgusting.
Whereas Planned Parenthood calls the organs of murdered babies “fetal tissue,” they call unborn babies “clumps of cells” until labeling their organs as “human” helps their bottom line. And they call their murder of millions “quality family planning.”
Most the body parts are sold to Stem Express, a California-based biomedical company that provides “qualified research laboratories with human cells, fluids, blood and tissue products for the pursuit of disease detection and cure.”
There are a number of things that upset me about the disgusting practices of Planned Parenthood. From its inception, the founder showed a disregard for a group of persons, seen as “defective stocks and human weeds which threaten the blooming of the finest flowers of American civilization.” That racist premise was the foundation of the movement.
In responding to the recent sale of body parts, Planned Parenthood wants us to believe that this is a good business practice. No, this is repulsive, sickening and ghastly. After looking at the Consolidated Balance Sheets for 2014, Planned Parenthood does not need to sell body parts to augment income. The company is a victim of its gruesome practices.
Thankfully, the company’s attitude to abortion is not the same to a wide variety of human services. I would love to see many of those services retained, but under a different banner. The stench and the sigma of a sordid history must be removed. Until that happens, I will support the move to defund Planned Parenthood.
In attempting to close the door on disgusting practices, Christians must ensure that we do not close our compassion to “the least of these”, to whom Jesus referred.
Most of these abortions were done by Planned Parenthood Federation of America, commonly shortened to Planned Parenthood, the U.S. affiliate of the International Planned Parenthood Federation. According to its website, Planned Parenthood is “America's most trusted provider of reproductive health care.”
Unfortunately, Planned Parenthood’s history is not as impressive as its website. The vision of Margaret Sanger, one of the two founders of the movement paints a picture of a racist with clear intentions to systematically exterminate black people in America.
In an interview with the New York Times (1923), Sanger said, “Birth control is not contraception indiscriminately and thoughtlessly practiced. It means the release and cultivation of the better racial elements in our society, and the gradual suppression, elimination and eventual extirpation of defective stocks – those human weeds (blacks) which threaten the blooming of the finest flowers of American civilization.”
Sanger established her first full-service “clinic” in Harlem in 1929. Why Harlem, New York - that’s where a lot of the black people, she often referred to as “human weeds”, lived. Sanger described it as “an experimental clinic established for the benefit of the colored people.” In this case, she defined “benefit” as the overall reduction of the black population.
On average, 1,876 black babies are aborted every day in the United States. This incidence of abortion has resulted in a tremendous loss of life. It has been estimated that since 1973 Black women have had about 16 million abortions – 30% of abortions done.
Although this information is known by civil rights leaders and politicians, no one attempts to abort the largest abortion provider in this country. Instead, Planned Parenthood receives more than $500 million annually from tax payers – that means it receives an average of $1.5 million a day to conduct its business.
In order to augment its income as a not-for-profit organization, Planned Parenthood now sells body parts from babies.
Recently, Planned Parenthood was caught in a firestorm of well-deserved controversy after two undercover videos, released by the Center for Medical Progress, seem to implicate them in horrific crimes against the unborn. The videos show two top Planned Parenthood executives discussing the best methods to extract baby body parts intact, and haggling with undercover investigators over the prices of these body parts – how disgusting.
Whereas Planned Parenthood calls the organs of murdered babies “fetal tissue,” they call unborn babies “clumps of cells” until labeling their organs as “human” helps their bottom line. And they call their murder of millions “quality family planning.”
Most the body parts are sold to Stem Express, a California-based biomedical company that provides “qualified research laboratories with human cells, fluids, blood and tissue products for the pursuit of disease detection and cure.”
There are a number of things that upset me about the disgusting practices of Planned Parenthood. From its inception, the founder showed a disregard for a group of persons, seen as “defective stocks and human weeds which threaten the blooming of the finest flowers of American civilization.” That racist premise was the foundation of the movement.
In responding to the recent sale of body parts, Planned Parenthood wants us to believe that this is a good business practice. No, this is repulsive, sickening and ghastly. After looking at the Consolidated Balance Sheets for 2014, Planned Parenthood does not need to sell body parts to augment income. The company is a victim of its gruesome practices.
Thankfully, the company’s attitude to abortion is not the same to a wide variety of human services. I would love to see many of those services retained, but under a different banner. The stench and the sigma of a sordid history must be removed. Until that happens, I will support the move to defund Planned Parenthood.
In attempting to close the door on disgusting practices, Christians must ensure that we do not close our compassion to “the least of these”, to whom Jesus referred.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Immigrants!
Our first request to migrate to the United States was turned down. The immigration department feared, as graduate students, we would become a liability to America. It was a church that came to our rescue. Recently I reminded the New York congregation of their compassionate gesture almost 25 years ago.
For decades, churches have had to balance compassion and immigration - especially among illegal immigrants. Christians are expected to show care to everyone, especially to the less fortunate. The writer to the New Testament book of Hebrews stated clearly: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”
Honestly, I have been blessed as an immigrant. Trinidad and Tobago first opened the doors to my grandparents from Barbados, later the country did the same for my mother as an infant from St. Vincent. Jamaica opened her borders to me as a student, and 42 years later I call a Jamaican my wife.
One can therefore understand my sensitivities to immigration issues in the United States – possibly the most ethnically diverse country in the world. Agreed, for security and national identity, we must secure our borders and put equitable laws in place.
The recent random, heartless murder of Kate Steinle in San Francisco by a five-time illegal alien deportee, who benefited from the city’s sanctuary policy has law-abiding Americans, law enforcement officials and political opportunists of all stripes up in arms.
Many are equally annoyed by churches across the country that are brazenly thumbing their noses at immigration laws. For instance, in Northeast Portland, Oregan, the Augustana Lutheran Church is shielding illegal alien Franscisco Aguirre-Velasquez, after he committed drunk driving and drug crimes and violated deportation laws.
In Chicago, illegal alien Elvira Arellano settled at the United Methodist Church of Adalberto for a year before finally being ejected back to Mexico. Last year, the serial law-breaker somehow returned to the Windy City to protest her status “in the shadows.”
Like in my case, it is one thing to show compassion to legal immigrants, legitimate refugees and to persons who were abused and mistreated. It is quite another matter to conspire against orderly immigration laws.
The mixture of compassion and politics leave the church confused. Is there another way to address unfair immigration laws? According to the Bible, compassion is not optional. Early in Jewish history, the Hebrews were reminded: "You shall not wrong a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Exodus 22:21).
Hundreds of years later, at the time of King Solomon, there were about 150,000 non-Jews in Israel (2 Chron. 2:17) or about a tenth of the country’s total population. As is usual today, most of these were unskilled workers (1 Chron. 22:2; 2 Chron. 8:7-8).
However, the question remains, what should be the church’s attitude to illegal immigrants today? I have found Chawkat Moucarry’s volume, The Prophet and the Messiah: An Arab Christian’s Perspective on Islam and Christianity to be most helpful. In this volume, Dr. Moucarry suggests at least three things:
Watchfulness – we must always keep in mind the danger of nationalism, whose victims would be minority groups living within the borders of nations. The practice of “ethnic cleansing”, the rise of extreme right-wing theories and inter-tribal warfare remind us that this danger is real and current.
At the global level the more powerful nations need to be on guard against exploiting poorer and weaker ones, and as Christians we should play our part in encouraging governments to develop international relations founded on principles of solidarity and equity.
Clear-mindedness and Tolerance - Christians should know better than others what really separates people from one another: the hardest barriers to break down are not geographic, political, economic or cultural, but spiritual. For instance, two Americans can be much more foreign to one another than a Mexican and an American who share the same faith in Jesus.
Evangelism - By sharing our lives and not just our words, immigrants will see that Jesus Christ really is unique: unique because of His life, His teaching, His love, His death and His resurrection. He is also unique because He alone can reconcile us to ourselves, to our neighbor and to our God: "For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, 'everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved’” (Romans 10:12-13).
For decades, churches have had to balance compassion and immigration - especially among illegal immigrants. Christians are expected to show care to everyone, especially to the less fortunate. The writer to the New Testament book of Hebrews stated clearly: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”
Honestly, I have been blessed as an immigrant. Trinidad and Tobago first opened the doors to my grandparents from Barbados, later the country did the same for my mother as an infant from St. Vincent. Jamaica opened her borders to me as a student, and 42 years later I call a Jamaican my wife.
One can therefore understand my sensitivities to immigration issues in the United States – possibly the most ethnically diverse country in the world. Agreed, for security and national identity, we must secure our borders and put equitable laws in place.
The recent random, heartless murder of Kate Steinle in San Francisco by a five-time illegal alien deportee, who benefited from the city’s sanctuary policy has law-abiding Americans, law enforcement officials and political opportunists of all stripes up in arms.
Many are equally annoyed by churches across the country that are brazenly thumbing their noses at immigration laws. For instance, in Northeast Portland, Oregan, the Augustana Lutheran Church is shielding illegal alien Franscisco Aguirre-Velasquez, after he committed drunk driving and drug crimes and violated deportation laws.
In Chicago, illegal alien Elvira Arellano settled at the United Methodist Church of Adalberto for a year before finally being ejected back to Mexico. Last year, the serial law-breaker somehow returned to the Windy City to protest her status “in the shadows.”
Like in my case, it is one thing to show compassion to legal immigrants, legitimate refugees and to persons who were abused and mistreated. It is quite another matter to conspire against orderly immigration laws.
The mixture of compassion and politics leave the church confused. Is there another way to address unfair immigration laws? According to the Bible, compassion is not optional. Early in Jewish history, the Hebrews were reminded: "You shall not wrong a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Exodus 22:21).
Hundreds of years later, at the time of King Solomon, there were about 150,000 non-Jews in Israel (2 Chron. 2:17) or about a tenth of the country’s total population. As is usual today, most of these were unskilled workers (1 Chron. 22:2; 2 Chron. 8:7-8).
However, the question remains, what should be the church’s attitude to illegal immigrants today? I have found Chawkat Moucarry’s volume, The Prophet and the Messiah: An Arab Christian’s Perspective on Islam and Christianity to be most helpful. In this volume, Dr. Moucarry suggests at least three things:
Watchfulness – we must always keep in mind the danger of nationalism, whose victims would be minority groups living within the borders of nations. The practice of “ethnic cleansing”, the rise of extreme right-wing theories and inter-tribal warfare remind us that this danger is real and current.
At the global level the more powerful nations need to be on guard against exploiting poorer and weaker ones, and as Christians we should play our part in encouraging governments to develop international relations founded on principles of solidarity and equity.
Clear-mindedness and Tolerance - Christians should know better than others what really separates people from one another: the hardest barriers to break down are not geographic, political, economic or cultural, but spiritual. For instance, two Americans can be much more foreign to one another than a Mexican and an American who share the same faith in Jesus.
Evangelism - By sharing our lives and not just our words, immigrants will see that Jesus Christ really is unique: unique because of His life, His teaching, His love, His death and His resurrection. He is also unique because He alone can reconcile us to ourselves, to our neighbor and to our God: "For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, 'everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved’” (Romans 10:12-13).
Monday, September 29, 2014
“We the People...”
That simple statement, “we the people,” was an answer to the 100 questions we had to study for a recent naturalization test. Following our Swearing-In Ceremony a few days ago, my wife and I can now be called “American Yankees”.
For my family it has been a long journey which began in 1991 when we migrated to America. My wife and the three children accompanied me as I pursued graduate and post-graduate studies in the Midwest. From Foreign Students to Citizens should be an interesting read of God’s faithfulness to a family that dared to trust Him.
In those 23 years, my wife also earned an advanced degree and our three children completed college. Last Sunday we were honored to witness the baptism of two of our six grandchildren. They now represent the fourth generation of Corbins coming to faith in Jesus Christ. For this we praise the Lord!
However, becoming citizens is much more than a privilege – it is a responsibility. The civics lessons learned in preparing for naturalization have helped to reinforce the solemn trust enshrined in being a citizen of a country. As American citizens we now recognize that we can be called-up any minute to serve as jurors in a court of law. In addition, we have the right to vote in a federal election.
Our acquired home, America, is “a popular sovereign” state. The people elect representatives to make laws. With the words “we the people,” the Constitution states that the people set up the government. The government works for the people and protects the rights of the people. In America, the power to govern comes from the people, who are the highest power. Sometimes one wonders if some of our current narcissistic federal and local representatives should not be mandated to pursue ongoing education classes in American Civics.
Just last week I was reminded that even the study of Civics in America is under attack. Hundreds of students walked out of classrooms around suburban Denver in protest over a conservative-led school board proposal to focus history education on topics that promote citizenship, patriotism and respect for authority.
The youth protest in the state's second-largest school district followed a sick-out from teachers that shut down two high schools. Many students waved American flags and carried signs, including messages that read "There is nothing more patriotic than protest."
The school board proposal that triggered the walkouts in Jefferson County calls for instructional materials that present positive aspects of America and its heritage. It would establish a committee to make sure materials "promote citizenship, patriotism, essentials and benefits of the free-market system, respect for authority and respect for individual rights" and don't "encourage or condone civil disorder, social strike or disregard of the law."
When interviewed, a student demonstrator, a senior at Arvada High School, said that the nation's foundation was built on civil protests, "and everything that we've done is what allowed us to be at this point today. And if you take that from us, you take away everything that America was built off of."
This is not what I learned in civics about America – “the nation’s foundation was built on civil protests?” Agreed, America has had its share of internal and foreign wars. However, can the results of those wars be considered to be foundations upon which the nation was built?
The protests among high school teachers and students in Colorado is a microcosm of what is happening across the nation – an infiltration of ideological bias in interpreting history. At times some Christians are guilty of that bias when they interpret American history to suggest that the Puritans came to America to establish only Christian communities.
A few months ago we were subjected to another ideological interpretation of history. President Obama was addressing a group of Muslims at an Eid-al-Fitr celebration. There he thanked the Muslims “for their many achievements and contributions...to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”
As a fledgling citizen, could someone please help me? Where in America’s history can one find the “many achievements...to building the fabric of our nation” from the Muslim community? As a melting pot of religious communities, America has become the most religiously diverse country in the world. However, as religious communities come to this country, they often adjust their religious practices to comply with American life and culture. Generally speaking, that cannot be said of many Muslim communities.
As a Christian and a new citizen, my civic mandate is greatly influenced by Jeremiah’s words to the Jewish exiles in Babylon: “... seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29: 7).
For my family it has been a long journey which began in 1991 when we migrated to America. My wife and the three children accompanied me as I pursued graduate and post-graduate studies in the Midwest. From Foreign Students to Citizens should be an interesting read of God’s faithfulness to a family that dared to trust Him.
In those 23 years, my wife also earned an advanced degree and our three children completed college. Last Sunday we were honored to witness the baptism of two of our six grandchildren. They now represent the fourth generation of Corbins coming to faith in Jesus Christ. For this we praise the Lord!
However, becoming citizens is much more than a privilege – it is a responsibility. The civics lessons learned in preparing for naturalization have helped to reinforce the solemn trust enshrined in being a citizen of a country. As American citizens we now recognize that we can be called-up any minute to serve as jurors in a court of law. In addition, we have the right to vote in a federal election.
Our acquired home, America, is “a popular sovereign” state. The people elect representatives to make laws. With the words “we the people,” the Constitution states that the people set up the government. The government works for the people and protects the rights of the people. In America, the power to govern comes from the people, who are the highest power. Sometimes one wonders if some of our current narcissistic federal and local representatives should not be mandated to pursue ongoing education classes in American Civics.
Just last week I was reminded that even the study of Civics in America is under attack. Hundreds of students walked out of classrooms around suburban Denver in protest over a conservative-led school board proposal to focus history education on topics that promote citizenship, patriotism and respect for authority.
The youth protest in the state's second-largest school district followed a sick-out from teachers that shut down two high schools. Many students waved American flags and carried signs, including messages that read "There is nothing more patriotic than protest."
The school board proposal that triggered the walkouts in Jefferson County calls for instructional materials that present positive aspects of America and its heritage. It would establish a committee to make sure materials "promote citizenship, patriotism, essentials and benefits of the free-market system, respect for authority and respect for individual rights" and don't "encourage or condone civil disorder, social strike or disregard of the law."
When interviewed, a student demonstrator, a senior at Arvada High School, said that the nation's foundation was built on civil protests, "and everything that we've done is what allowed us to be at this point today. And if you take that from us, you take away everything that America was built off of."
This is not what I learned in civics about America – “the nation’s foundation was built on civil protests?” Agreed, America has had its share of internal and foreign wars. However, can the results of those wars be considered to be foundations upon which the nation was built?
The protests among high school teachers and students in Colorado is a microcosm of what is happening across the nation – an infiltration of ideological bias in interpreting history. At times some Christians are guilty of that bias when they interpret American history to suggest that the Puritans came to America to establish only Christian communities.
A few months ago we were subjected to another ideological interpretation of history. President Obama was addressing a group of Muslims at an Eid-al-Fitr celebration. There he thanked the Muslims “for their many achievements and contributions...to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”
As a fledgling citizen, could someone please help me? Where in America’s history can one find the “many achievements...to building the fabric of our nation” from the Muslim community? As a melting pot of religious communities, America has become the most religiously diverse country in the world. However, as religious communities come to this country, they often adjust their religious practices to comply with American life and culture. Generally speaking, that cannot be said of many Muslim communities.
As a Christian and a new citizen, my civic mandate is greatly influenced by Jeremiah’s words to the Jewish exiles in Babylon: “... seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29: 7).
Monday, August 18, 2014
Robin Williams
About two decades ago my wife and I met Robin Williams when we saw the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. Williams, who played the role of Mrs. Doubtfire was outstanding. His winsome personality as an actor made us feel as though we met him personally.
Last week Robin Williams committed suicide. News of his death suddenly replaced the headlines of warfare around the world. “Mrs. Doubtfire” had been struggling with depression for several years and had previously beaten a dependency to alcohol and drugs in the seventies and eighties.
The actor was reported to have been downsizing his properties after two divorces left him in serious debt. In a 2013 interview with Parade Magazine, Williams said that divorce was expensive. He added that he used to joke that before the word “alimony” was invented, they were going to call it “all the money”.
Since his death, some of us are learning that Williams was a humble man. Just as he had an impact on the lives of his viewers, we had an impact on his life. One commentator observed that he was living off our laughs. In their grief, the family requested – “As he is remembered, it is our hope the focus will not be on Robin’s death, but on the countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions.”
From my research, I understand depression is a mood disorder in which overwhelming feelings of sadness, loss of pleasure, guilt, and hopelessness interfere with daily life. Everyone experiences some unhappiness, often as a result of a life change, either in the form of a setback or a loss, or simply, as everyday misery. The painful feelings that accompany these events are usually appropriate and temporary, and can even present an opportunity for personal growth and improvement.
However, when sadness persists and impairs daily life, it may indicate a depressive disorder. Severity, duration, and the presence of other symptoms are the factors that distinguish normal sadness from clinical disorder.
My wife who did her graduate thesis on depression, tells me that there are various types of depression. I understand that in major depression, at least five critical symptoms must occur nearly every day for a period of at least 2 weeks, and they must represent a change from previous behavior or mood. Depressed mood or loss of interest must be present.
All the causes of depression are not fully known. Scholars tell us depression is most likely due to a combination of genetic, biologic, and environmental factors. Many people with major depression also have an alcohol use disorder or drug abuse problems. Studies on the connections between alcohol dependence and depression have still not resolved whether one causes the other or if they both share some common biologic factor.
In commenting on Robin Williams, one commentator said, “when you’re a big celebrity, people are afraid to tell you the truth. People are afraid to tell you anything because you’re a source of income. I don’t know if that’s why people were afraid to dig deep with him or that he was just really good at covering his pain.”
One of Robin’s good friends, the CEO of the Laugh Factory, said, “He was always in character – you never saw the real Robin. I knew him 35 years, and I never knew him.” He made us laugh and we assumed that his life was one of similar laughter – that was not the case. He generated moments of joy in public but carried personal pain in private.
I understand depression is not rare in men. In fact, white men over the age of 85 have the highest rates of suicide of any group. Men may be more likely than women to mask their depression by using alcohol.
Researchers tell us depression is less reported in the male population, but this may be caused by male tendencies to deny symptoms, avoid seeking help, and masking emotional disorders with specific behaviors and vices.
Can depressed people be helped? Yes - depending on the severity of one’s depression, treatment will differ. In every case, treatment is intended to assist the depressed person to cope or respond better to the set of circumstances he or she may be facing. At times persons require medication and forms of therapy.
From treatments prescribed, it becomes obvious that wholesome living environments can significantly reduce depression. Such wholesome environments are strongly encouraged for persons who choose to make the Bible their guide.
For instance, it was Peter, the disciple of Jesus who said: “...cast all your anxiety on Him (Jesus) because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). The Scriptures are replete with admonitions, encouraging wholesome living. I trust you will find this to be true and not resort to disastrous options.
Last week Robin Williams committed suicide. News of his death suddenly replaced the headlines of warfare around the world. “Mrs. Doubtfire” had been struggling with depression for several years and had previously beaten a dependency to alcohol and drugs in the seventies and eighties.
The actor was reported to have been downsizing his properties after two divorces left him in serious debt. In a 2013 interview with Parade Magazine, Williams said that divorce was expensive. He added that he used to joke that before the word “alimony” was invented, they were going to call it “all the money”.
Since his death, some of us are learning that Williams was a humble man. Just as he had an impact on the lives of his viewers, we had an impact on his life. One commentator observed that he was living off our laughs. In their grief, the family requested – “As he is remembered, it is our hope the focus will not be on Robin’s death, but on the countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions.”
From my research, I understand depression is a mood disorder in which overwhelming feelings of sadness, loss of pleasure, guilt, and hopelessness interfere with daily life. Everyone experiences some unhappiness, often as a result of a life change, either in the form of a setback or a loss, or simply, as everyday misery. The painful feelings that accompany these events are usually appropriate and temporary, and can even present an opportunity for personal growth and improvement.
However, when sadness persists and impairs daily life, it may indicate a depressive disorder. Severity, duration, and the presence of other symptoms are the factors that distinguish normal sadness from clinical disorder.
My wife who did her graduate thesis on depression, tells me that there are various types of depression. I understand that in major depression, at least five critical symptoms must occur nearly every day for a period of at least 2 weeks, and they must represent a change from previous behavior or mood. Depressed mood or loss of interest must be present.
All the causes of depression are not fully known. Scholars tell us depression is most likely due to a combination of genetic, biologic, and environmental factors. Many people with major depression also have an alcohol use disorder or drug abuse problems. Studies on the connections between alcohol dependence and depression have still not resolved whether one causes the other or if they both share some common biologic factor.
In commenting on Robin Williams, one commentator said, “when you’re a big celebrity, people are afraid to tell you the truth. People are afraid to tell you anything because you’re a source of income. I don’t know if that’s why people were afraid to dig deep with him or that he was just really good at covering his pain.”
One of Robin’s good friends, the CEO of the Laugh Factory, said, “He was always in character – you never saw the real Robin. I knew him 35 years, and I never knew him.” He made us laugh and we assumed that his life was one of similar laughter – that was not the case. He generated moments of joy in public but carried personal pain in private.
I understand depression is not rare in men. In fact, white men over the age of 85 have the highest rates of suicide of any group. Men may be more likely than women to mask their depression by using alcohol.
Researchers tell us depression is less reported in the male population, but this may be caused by male tendencies to deny symptoms, avoid seeking help, and masking emotional disorders with specific behaviors and vices.
Can depressed people be helped? Yes - depending on the severity of one’s depression, treatment will differ. In every case, treatment is intended to assist the depressed person to cope or respond better to the set of circumstances he or she may be facing. At times persons require medication and forms of therapy.
From treatments prescribed, it becomes obvious that wholesome living environments can significantly reduce depression. Such wholesome environments are strongly encouraged for persons who choose to make the Bible their guide.
For instance, it was Peter, the disciple of Jesus who said: “...cast all your anxiety on Him (Jesus) because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). The Scriptures are replete with admonitions, encouraging wholesome living. I trust you will find this to be true and not resort to disastrous options.
Monday, July 21, 2014
AMERICA!
This summer marks 23 years since we landed at Miami International Airport. My family and I were heading for Chicago where I would pursue graduate studies at Trinity International University. I can still recall the drive to the Windy City. The long drive ensured that the five of us remained a close-knit group – that bonding was necessary for the cold winter years in the mid-west.
Our immigration status did not allow my wife to work and I was allowed to work only on campus for what I learned later was minimum wage. The money with which we travelled from Jamaica was finished in three months. I began my graduate program with no scholarships. With our first child in high school and the others at the junior high and elementary school levels, one could just imagine the magnitude of the fiscal challenges we faced.
My wife and I knew the immigration rules, and we were not prepared to break them. We felt that our time in America was consistent with a divine call. We also felt that if God had opened a door for us, He would provide for us. Apart from the risk of being caught and the likely deportation that would follow, we knew if we played dishonestly, we would be robbing ourselves of the moral authority we needed to guide our children. In addition, we would be undermining the standards of integrity by which we sought to guide our lives.
God honored our stand and our status changed in a miraculous way – that’s another story. Our new immigration status enabled us to work. Although some of the jobs were very menial, the money earned affirmed our dignity and strong work ethic.
Not every family can share such stories about coming to America. It is believed that about 60% of white immigrants to the American colonies between the 1630s and1780s were brought here as indentured workers. However, while half the European migrants to the 13 colonies were indentured servants, at any one time they were outnumbered by workers who had never been indentured, or whose indenture had expired.
Slaves were among this “never indentured” category. The first African slaves were brought to the North American colony of Jamestown, Virginia, in 1619, to aid in the production of such lucrative crops as tobacco.
Unlike our situation, many families were destroyed because of immigration practices in the United States. Sometimes the immigrating families must be blamed. The truth is, when we pursue financial gain at any cost, usually, our families are affected.
By now everyone is aware of the tens of thousands of unaccompanied children crossing our Southern border that have created a national crisis. It is a humanitarian crisis for these children who have been sent by their families to travel thousands of miles on their own. Many are physically and sexually abused along the way, others never reach their destination. All too often, Border Patrol agents discover small, lifeless bodies washed up on the US side of the river that marks the border between Texas and Mexico.
All forms of migration affect family life – either for better or worse. As a nation, Israel never recovered when Assyria removed most of the men from the Northern Kingdom in 722 BCE. Today we still talk about the ten lost tribes and the bastardization of the Samaritans.
We as a nation, need to have a serious conversation about the impact of migration on family life. Some of our laws need adjusting to reflect an appreciation for stable family life. No nation can succeed without stability in the family.
As my wife and I prepare for U.S. citizenship, we have become so much more aware of the American experiment. Part of my personal preparation included reading Dr. Ben Carson’s book, One Nation: What We Can All Do to Save America’s Future. In addition, we viewed Dinesh D’Souza’s film, “America: Imagine a World Without Her.” We strongly recommend both resources.
Those resources reminded me of what the American experiment was all about as well as cautioned me about the threat of revisionist history to distort the value of that experiment. As someone who lectures in religion, it is frustrating to come across revisionist literature that attempts to undermine the role of religion in American history.
As a beneficiary of the American experiment I am eager to obtain citizenship. I want the privilege to vote – to influence the branches of government. I want to be sure that when I hear the words “we the people," those words include me.
When faced with the reality of living away from their homeland, God said to the Jews – “build houses and settle down...seek the peace and prosperity of the city ...pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29:4-7).
Our immigration status did not allow my wife to work and I was allowed to work only on campus for what I learned later was minimum wage. The money with which we travelled from Jamaica was finished in three months. I began my graduate program with no scholarships. With our first child in high school and the others at the junior high and elementary school levels, one could just imagine the magnitude of the fiscal challenges we faced.
My wife and I knew the immigration rules, and we were not prepared to break them. We felt that our time in America was consistent with a divine call. We also felt that if God had opened a door for us, He would provide for us. Apart from the risk of being caught and the likely deportation that would follow, we knew if we played dishonestly, we would be robbing ourselves of the moral authority we needed to guide our children. In addition, we would be undermining the standards of integrity by which we sought to guide our lives.
God honored our stand and our status changed in a miraculous way – that’s another story. Our new immigration status enabled us to work. Although some of the jobs were very menial, the money earned affirmed our dignity and strong work ethic.
Not every family can share such stories about coming to America. It is believed that about 60% of white immigrants to the American colonies between the 1630s and1780s were brought here as indentured workers. However, while half the European migrants to the 13 colonies were indentured servants, at any one time they were outnumbered by workers who had never been indentured, or whose indenture had expired.
Slaves were among this “never indentured” category. The first African slaves were brought to the North American colony of Jamestown, Virginia, in 1619, to aid in the production of such lucrative crops as tobacco.
Unlike our situation, many families were destroyed because of immigration practices in the United States. Sometimes the immigrating families must be blamed. The truth is, when we pursue financial gain at any cost, usually, our families are affected.
By now everyone is aware of the tens of thousands of unaccompanied children crossing our Southern border that have created a national crisis. It is a humanitarian crisis for these children who have been sent by their families to travel thousands of miles on their own. Many are physically and sexually abused along the way, others never reach their destination. All too often, Border Patrol agents discover small, lifeless bodies washed up on the US side of the river that marks the border between Texas and Mexico.
All forms of migration affect family life – either for better or worse. As a nation, Israel never recovered when Assyria removed most of the men from the Northern Kingdom in 722 BCE. Today we still talk about the ten lost tribes and the bastardization of the Samaritans.
We as a nation, need to have a serious conversation about the impact of migration on family life. Some of our laws need adjusting to reflect an appreciation for stable family life. No nation can succeed without stability in the family.
As my wife and I prepare for U.S. citizenship, we have become so much more aware of the American experiment. Part of my personal preparation included reading Dr. Ben Carson’s book, One Nation: What We Can All Do to Save America’s Future. In addition, we viewed Dinesh D’Souza’s film, “America: Imagine a World Without Her.” We strongly recommend both resources.
Those resources reminded me of what the American experiment was all about as well as cautioned me about the threat of revisionist history to distort the value of that experiment. As someone who lectures in religion, it is frustrating to come across revisionist literature that attempts to undermine the role of religion in American history.
As a beneficiary of the American experiment I am eager to obtain citizenship. I want the privilege to vote – to influence the branches of government. I want to be sure that when I hear the words “we the people," those words include me.
When faced with the reality of living away from their homeland, God said to the Jews – “build houses and settle down...seek the peace and prosperity of the city ...pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29:4-7).
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Bisexual or Convert?
Recently I was reading the story of a woman who converted to Christianity. She was gay and discontinued the practice upon converting. Today she is happily married with four children. In responding to the story, one columnist suggested that she did not abandon homosexuality because of her conversion. Rather, she was living out her bisexual preference.
According the Bisexual Resource Center in Boston, “bisexuality is the potential to feel sexually attracted to and engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex." Interestingly, there are several theories about different models of bisexual behavior. J. R. Little is a psychologist whose extensive research identified at least 13 types of bisexuality.
However, none of Professor Little’s categories defined the experience of former leftist lesbian professor Dr. Rosaria Champagne Butterfield. Did Professor Butterfield transition to heterosexuality because she was bisexual, or because of conversion?
As a professor of English and Women’s Studies at Syracuse University, on the track to becoming a tenured radical, Dr. Butterfield cared about morality, justice and compassion. In her book, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, she says, “I used my post (as a professor) to advance the understandable allegiances of a leftist lesbian professor. My life was happy, meaningful and full. My partner and I shared many vital interests: AIDS activism, children’s health and literacy and our Unitarian Universalist church, to name a few.”
“I began researching the Religious Right and their politics of hatred against queers like me. To do this, I would need to read the one book that had, in my estimation, gotten so many people off track – the Bible. While on the lookout for some Bible scholar to aid me in my research, in 1997 I launched my first attack on the unholy trinity of Jesus, Republican politics and patriarchy, in the form of an article in the local newspaper about Promise Keepers.”
According to Dr. Butterfield, “the article generated many rejoinders, so many that I kept a Xerox box on each side of my desk – one for hate mail, and the other for fan mail. But one letter I received defied my filing system. It was from the pastor of the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church. It was a kind of inquiring letter. Ken Smith encouraged me to explore the kind of questions I admire – How did you arrive at your interpretations? How do you know you are right? Do you believe in God? Ken didn’t argue with my article; rather, he asked me to defend the presuppositions that undergirded it. I didn’t know how to respond to it, so I threw it away.”
“Later that night, I fished it out of the recycling bin and put it back on my desk, where it stared at me for a week. As a postmodern intellectual, I operated from a historical materialist worldview... Ken’s letter punctured the integrity of my research project without him knowing it.”
“With the letter, Ken initiated two years of bringing the church to me, a heathen...He did not mock me. He engaged. So when his letter invited me to get together for dinner, I accepted. My motives at the time were straightforward – surely this will be good for my research.”
“Something else happened. Ken, his wife Floy, and I became friends. They entered my world. They met my friends. We talked openly about sexuality and politics. When we ate together, Ken prayed in a way I had never heard before. His prayers were intimate. He repented of his sin in front of me. He thanked God for all things. Ken’s God was holy and firm, yet full of mercy. And because Ken and Floy did not invite me to church, I knew it was safe to be friends.”
Dr. Butterfield started reading the Bible. “I read the way a glutton devours. I read it many times that first year in multiple translations...I continued reading the Bible, all the while fighting the idea that it was inspired...It overflowed into my world. I fought against it with all my might. Then, one Sunday morning, I rose from the bed of my lesbian lover, and an hour later sat in a pew at the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church. Conspicuous with my butch haircut, I reminded myself that I came to meet God, not fit in.”
Then, “one ordinary day, I came to Jesus, openhanded and naked...Ken was there. Floy was there. The church that had been praying for me for years was there. Jesus triumphed. And I was a broken mess...the voice of God sang a sanguine love song in the rubble of my world. I weakly believed that if Jesus could conquer death, he could make right my world. I drank, tentatively at first, then passionately, of the solace of the Holy Spirit. I rested in private peace, then community, and today in the shelter of a covenant family, where one calls me “wife” and many call me “mother”.”
Dr. Butterfield’s story reminds me of the words of the apostle Paul to the Corinthians. He was itemizing specific negative behaviors with which they were identified. With clarity he stated, “...and that is what some of you were, but you were washed...” (1 Cor. 6:11). This statement was not a description of bisexualism. Like Dr. Butterfield’s story, it was a statement of conversion and its effect on behavior.
According the Bisexual Resource Center in Boston, “bisexuality is the potential to feel sexually attracted to and engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex." Interestingly, there are several theories about different models of bisexual behavior. J. R. Little is a psychologist whose extensive research identified at least 13 types of bisexuality.
However, none of Professor Little’s categories defined the experience of former leftist lesbian professor Dr. Rosaria Champagne Butterfield. Did Professor Butterfield transition to heterosexuality because she was bisexual, or because of conversion?
As a professor of English and Women’s Studies at Syracuse University, on the track to becoming a tenured radical, Dr. Butterfield cared about morality, justice and compassion. In her book, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, she says, “I used my post (as a professor) to advance the understandable allegiances of a leftist lesbian professor. My life was happy, meaningful and full. My partner and I shared many vital interests: AIDS activism, children’s health and literacy and our Unitarian Universalist church, to name a few.”
“I began researching the Religious Right and their politics of hatred against queers like me. To do this, I would need to read the one book that had, in my estimation, gotten so many people off track – the Bible. While on the lookout for some Bible scholar to aid me in my research, in 1997 I launched my first attack on the unholy trinity of Jesus, Republican politics and patriarchy, in the form of an article in the local newspaper about Promise Keepers.”
According to Dr. Butterfield, “the article generated many rejoinders, so many that I kept a Xerox box on each side of my desk – one for hate mail, and the other for fan mail. But one letter I received defied my filing system. It was from the pastor of the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church. It was a kind of inquiring letter. Ken Smith encouraged me to explore the kind of questions I admire – How did you arrive at your interpretations? How do you know you are right? Do you believe in God? Ken didn’t argue with my article; rather, he asked me to defend the presuppositions that undergirded it. I didn’t know how to respond to it, so I threw it away.”
“Later that night, I fished it out of the recycling bin and put it back on my desk, where it stared at me for a week. As a postmodern intellectual, I operated from a historical materialist worldview... Ken’s letter punctured the integrity of my research project without him knowing it.”
“With the letter, Ken initiated two years of bringing the church to me, a heathen...He did not mock me. He engaged. So when his letter invited me to get together for dinner, I accepted. My motives at the time were straightforward – surely this will be good for my research.”
“Something else happened. Ken, his wife Floy, and I became friends. They entered my world. They met my friends. We talked openly about sexuality and politics. When we ate together, Ken prayed in a way I had never heard before. His prayers were intimate. He repented of his sin in front of me. He thanked God for all things. Ken’s God was holy and firm, yet full of mercy. And because Ken and Floy did not invite me to church, I knew it was safe to be friends.”
Dr. Butterfield started reading the Bible. “I read the way a glutton devours. I read it many times that first year in multiple translations...I continued reading the Bible, all the while fighting the idea that it was inspired...It overflowed into my world. I fought against it with all my might. Then, one Sunday morning, I rose from the bed of my lesbian lover, and an hour later sat in a pew at the Syracuse Reformed Presbyterian Church. Conspicuous with my butch haircut, I reminded myself that I came to meet God, not fit in.”
Then, “one ordinary day, I came to Jesus, openhanded and naked...Ken was there. Floy was there. The church that had been praying for me for years was there. Jesus triumphed. And I was a broken mess...the voice of God sang a sanguine love song in the rubble of my world. I weakly believed that if Jesus could conquer death, he could make right my world. I drank, tentatively at first, then passionately, of the solace of the Holy Spirit. I rested in private peace, then community, and today in the shelter of a covenant family, where one calls me “wife” and many call me “mother”.”
Dr. Butterfield’s story reminds me of the words of the apostle Paul to the Corinthians. He was itemizing specific negative behaviors with which they were identified. With clarity he stated, “...and that is what some of you were, but you were washed...” (1 Cor. 6:11). This statement was not a description of bisexualism. Like Dr. Butterfield’s story, it was a statement of conversion and its effect on behavior.
Monday, December 30, 2013
I Agree With President Obama
A few days ago comedian Steve Harvey and President Obama had a non-political interview at the White House. It was refreshing to see the President in a non-combative mood.
In discussing his family, the President said he trusts his daughters to have good judgment when it comes to men. “What I’ve told them before is, as long as that young man is showing you respect, and is kind to you, then I’m not going to be hovering over every second. But, I’m counting on you to have the self-respect to make sure that anybody who you’re going out with comes correct. And hopefully they’ve seen how I treat Michelle.”
Mr. President, I strongly agree with you. Actually, I am so much more sensitive to the President’s desire for his daughters as I write this commentary from the home of my daughter in Nashville, hundreds of miles away from my home. My wife and I feel so honored to be hosted by a young woman who we love, very much like the President loves his own daughters, Malia (15 years old) and Sasha (12).
The President’s desire to want the very best for his daughters is most evident. He is concerned about their security. In the interview with Harvey, he quipped that he ran for a second term partly to keep his teenage daughters under constant supervision. “I’ve got men with guns following them around all the time. Hey, this is the main reason I ran for re-election - you know I’m gonna have ‘em covered for most of high school.”
In addition, the President would hope that any suitors would have “seen how I treat Michelle.” The President believes he models a loving relationship before his daughters. Actually, one of the best gifts we as parents can give to our children is the display of a loving relationship.
When parents spend time with each other, nurturing their relationship, resolving conflicts, investing in one another in practical ways, and enjoying one another, children see that they truly love and value one another. This security will increase the peace and joy in the home.
In this and in previous interviews, President Obama naturally refers to potential suitors for his daughters as “young men who show respect and kindness.” Here again, the President must be congratulated on his desire to see his daughters engage in relationships that are natural and are best for their development.
In expressing his desire for what’s best for his daughters, the President was expressing a sensitivity to issues of gender. One’s gender identity is the sense of one’s self as male or female. Gender role refers to the behaviors and desires to act in certain ways that are viewed as masculine and feminine in a particular culture. His position is consistent with history, with nature and science.
The President’s desire for what is best for his daughters is not readily accepted by some social scientists in today’s culture. Such scholars believe our culture labels behaviors as masculine and feminine, “but these behaviors are not necessarily a direct component of gender or gender identity.”
For me, gender and the accompanying behaviors are not determined by society. Gender is a biological, not a sociological construct. The President spoke with logical clarity, so unlike the ambiguity that’s apparent in gender experiments. Under the guise of accommodating bisexualism, some in our culture are confused and vacillate in affirming their own masculinity or femininity. I believe Malia and Sasha are in good hands if their parents continue to expect behaviors that are consistent with their femininity.
The President is correct to want heterosexual relationships for his daughters. Such relationships have always been about bringing men and women together in permanent, exclusive domestic and sexual relationships.
In their volume, Marriage on Trial, Stanton and Maier make the point: “No human society-not one-has ever embraced homosexual marriage. It is not a part of the tradition of any human culture” (page 22). Such unions have never been regarded as a normal, morally equal part of any society. Non heterosexual unions have been tolerated in some cultures, however, it is historically accurate to say that they have never been taken to be morally equivalent to natural marriage.
So, the President is on the right side of history to want natural relationships for his daughters. The President’s desire for his daughters is seeking to regulate sexuality, bringing gender balance to their relationships and offspring. This arrangement is consistent with the biblical position on family. Different genders allow for complementarity, a critical and historically proven component of healthy families.
In discussing his family, the President said he trusts his daughters to have good judgment when it comes to men. “What I’ve told them before is, as long as that young man is showing you respect, and is kind to you, then I’m not going to be hovering over every second. But, I’m counting on you to have the self-respect to make sure that anybody who you’re going out with comes correct. And hopefully they’ve seen how I treat Michelle.”
Mr. President, I strongly agree with you. Actually, I am so much more sensitive to the President’s desire for his daughters as I write this commentary from the home of my daughter in Nashville, hundreds of miles away from my home. My wife and I feel so honored to be hosted by a young woman who we love, very much like the President loves his own daughters, Malia (15 years old) and Sasha (12).
The President’s desire to want the very best for his daughters is most evident. He is concerned about their security. In the interview with Harvey, he quipped that he ran for a second term partly to keep his teenage daughters under constant supervision. “I’ve got men with guns following them around all the time. Hey, this is the main reason I ran for re-election - you know I’m gonna have ‘em covered for most of high school.”
In addition, the President would hope that any suitors would have “seen how I treat Michelle.” The President believes he models a loving relationship before his daughters. Actually, one of the best gifts we as parents can give to our children is the display of a loving relationship.
When parents spend time with each other, nurturing their relationship, resolving conflicts, investing in one another in practical ways, and enjoying one another, children see that they truly love and value one another. This security will increase the peace and joy in the home.
In this and in previous interviews, President Obama naturally refers to potential suitors for his daughters as “young men who show respect and kindness.” Here again, the President must be congratulated on his desire to see his daughters engage in relationships that are natural and are best for their development.
In expressing his desire for what’s best for his daughters, the President was expressing a sensitivity to issues of gender. One’s gender identity is the sense of one’s self as male or female. Gender role refers to the behaviors and desires to act in certain ways that are viewed as masculine and feminine in a particular culture. His position is consistent with history, with nature and science.
The President’s desire for what is best for his daughters is not readily accepted by some social scientists in today’s culture. Such scholars believe our culture labels behaviors as masculine and feminine, “but these behaviors are not necessarily a direct component of gender or gender identity.”
For me, gender and the accompanying behaviors are not determined by society. Gender is a biological, not a sociological construct. The President spoke with logical clarity, so unlike the ambiguity that’s apparent in gender experiments. Under the guise of accommodating bisexualism, some in our culture are confused and vacillate in affirming their own masculinity or femininity. I believe Malia and Sasha are in good hands if their parents continue to expect behaviors that are consistent with their femininity.
The President is correct to want heterosexual relationships for his daughters. Such relationships have always been about bringing men and women together in permanent, exclusive domestic and sexual relationships.
In their volume, Marriage on Trial, Stanton and Maier make the point: “No human society-not one-has ever embraced homosexual marriage. It is not a part of the tradition of any human culture” (page 22). Such unions have never been regarded as a normal, morally equal part of any society. Non heterosexual unions have been tolerated in some cultures, however, it is historically accurate to say that they have never been taken to be morally equivalent to natural marriage.
So, the President is on the right side of history to want natural relationships for his daughters. The President’s desire for his daughters is seeking to regulate sexuality, bringing gender balance to their relationships and offspring. This arrangement is consistent with the biblical position on family. Different genders allow for complementarity, a critical and historically proven component of healthy families.
Monday, September 2, 2013
50 years
My daughter Candace and her husband Louis have four young children. As a former professional, mother and homeschooler she has a vested interest in the future that is laid for her children. I have asked her to be my guest for this week’s commentary.
To think back fifty years in this country is to think back to a time before I was born. Since then, I have lived outside of and within different parts of this great nation, each time gleaning racial experiences – good and bad.
I want to say we have come so far – desegregation of schools and places of employment, integrated neighborhoods and families, a black President in office, the list could go on and on.
But as far a step as we have made, I fear we have taken many steps backwards – and not for the popular reasons being floated out there in the blogosphere, in newsrooms or even at last week’s 50-year Memorial of 'The March on Washington' that took place on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
In the past fifty years, we have stepped away from some of the fundamentals that Dr. King held dearly, choosing to excuse or embrace the demise of the black family; the 70% of black babies born out of wedlock; the 1,800 black babies killed daily through abortion; the almost 50% unemployment among black youth and a bloody summer that highlighted the continuing problem of black on black homicides.
I am not willing to sit back and play along with those claiming that Rev. Martin Luther King would be proud of our accomplishments today. Unlike those who flash the ‘Reverend’ title for political and monetary gain, Rev. Martin Luther King actually tried to live a life that sought to center around hard work, faith and family.
Dr. King’s mission taxed his marriage and family life, but of his wife he said “I am indebted to my wife Coretta, without whose love, sacrifices, and loyalty neither life nor work would bring fulfillment."
In addition to being the pastor of the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church of Montgomery, Alabama, Dr. King completed his Ph.D. and was awarded his degree in 1955. King was only 25 years old.
At the age of 35, Martin Luther King, Jr., was the youngest man to have receive the Nobel Peace Prize. When notified of his selection, he announced that he would turn over the prize money of $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement.
The ideals of faith, family and diligent work used to be encouraged in the black community at large. For all the accomplishments we have acquired as a community, I think Dr. King would ask – Is this really what we suffered for fifty years ago?
Jaime Foxx graced the steps of the Lincoln Memorial last Wednesday, naming our present civil rights leaders as Jay Z, Will Smith, Kanye West and others.
The list of invited speakers at the fifty-year Memorial Celebration of Dr. King’s ‘I Have A Dream’ speech did not include pioneers in some of the highest offices or areas of accomplishments by African Americans. The nation’s first black and first black female Secretaries of State were not invited to speak. The nation’s only black Senator was not invited to speak. The nation’s first and (at the time) youngest black neurosurgeon was not invited to speak. While entertainers of all sorts were well represented and tickled our ears with words of grandeur, I guess the former were all associated with the wrong side of the aisle (and by that I don’t mean the church aisle).
Sometimes I can only wonder – what kind of vision have we cast for our youth for the next fifty years?
We have strayed so far from the words of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that we no longer know what it means to judge a man by the caliber or content of his character, his labor or his legacy. Instead, we have bought into the culture that says the opposite: embrace racial and social lines above character, above goals, above ambition.
Fifty years ago The March on Washington was filled with people of all sorts: black, white; male, female; rich, poor; Republican, Democrat – they were willing and able to work together because above their comfort or agendas they found it important to be unified, not as one group above another, but as Americans under God.
The messages of today towards our children seem to shout of entitlements. But is that what the Bible encourages for us? As parents, my husband and I have been teaching our children the word diligent – a word that fueled the civil rights movement. Colossians 3:23 says “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Such commitments lead to discipline, perseverance and character.
I have four children, and like Dr. King I still dream. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.).
To think back fifty years in this country is to think back to a time before I was born. Since then, I have lived outside of and within different parts of this great nation, each time gleaning racial experiences – good and bad.
I want to say we have come so far – desegregation of schools and places of employment, integrated neighborhoods and families, a black President in office, the list could go on and on.
But as far a step as we have made, I fear we have taken many steps backwards – and not for the popular reasons being floated out there in the blogosphere, in newsrooms or even at last week’s 50-year Memorial of 'The March on Washington' that took place on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.
In the past fifty years, we have stepped away from some of the fundamentals that Dr. King held dearly, choosing to excuse or embrace the demise of the black family; the 70% of black babies born out of wedlock; the 1,800 black babies killed daily through abortion; the almost 50% unemployment among black youth and a bloody summer that highlighted the continuing problem of black on black homicides.
I am not willing to sit back and play along with those claiming that Rev. Martin Luther King would be proud of our accomplishments today. Unlike those who flash the ‘Reverend’ title for political and monetary gain, Rev. Martin Luther King actually tried to live a life that sought to center around hard work, faith and family.
Dr. King’s mission taxed his marriage and family life, but of his wife he said “I am indebted to my wife Coretta, without whose love, sacrifices, and loyalty neither life nor work would bring fulfillment."
In addition to being the pastor of the Dexter Avenue Baptist Church of Montgomery, Alabama, Dr. King completed his Ph.D. and was awarded his degree in 1955. King was only 25 years old.
At the age of 35, Martin Luther King, Jr., was the youngest man to have receive the Nobel Peace Prize. When notified of his selection, he announced that he would turn over the prize money of $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement.
The ideals of faith, family and diligent work used to be encouraged in the black community at large. For all the accomplishments we have acquired as a community, I think Dr. King would ask – Is this really what we suffered for fifty years ago?
Jaime Foxx graced the steps of the Lincoln Memorial last Wednesday, naming our present civil rights leaders as Jay Z, Will Smith, Kanye West and others.
The list of invited speakers at the fifty-year Memorial Celebration of Dr. King’s ‘I Have A Dream’ speech did not include pioneers in some of the highest offices or areas of accomplishments by African Americans. The nation’s first black and first black female Secretaries of State were not invited to speak. The nation’s only black Senator was not invited to speak. The nation’s first and (at the time) youngest black neurosurgeon was not invited to speak. While entertainers of all sorts were well represented and tickled our ears with words of grandeur, I guess the former were all associated with the wrong side of the aisle (and by that I don’t mean the church aisle).
Sometimes I can only wonder – what kind of vision have we cast for our youth for the next fifty years?
We have strayed so far from the words of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that we no longer know what it means to judge a man by the caliber or content of his character, his labor or his legacy. Instead, we have bought into the culture that says the opposite: embrace racial and social lines above character, above goals, above ambition.
Fifty years ago The March on Washington was filled with people of all sorts: black, white; male, female; rich, poor; Republican, Democrat – they were willing and able to work together because above their comfort or agendas they found it important to be unified, not as one group above another, but as Americans under God.
The messages of today towards our children seem to shout of entitlements. But is that what the Bible encourages for us? As parents, my husband and I have been teaching our children the word diligent – a word that fueled the civil rights movement. Colossians 3:23 says “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Such commitments lead to discipline, perseverance and character.
I have four children, and like Dr. King I still dream. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.).
Monday, August 12, 2013
Should Dads Get Paternity Leave?
As a helicopter pilot in the Royal Air Force, Prince William was the first senior member of the royal family to take paternity leave. Following the recent birth of his son, Prince George, he took two weeks leave with pay, a benefit to which he was entitled.
According to Ken Matos, director of research at the Families and Work Institute, a New York City-based nonprofit organization, the decision of Prince William sends a powerful message to the public. “Not only does it seem like William genuinely wants to be a present father, the royal couple knows that everything they do is aspirational.” It is possible that Prince William may be trying to set an example for fathers to take advantage of any paternity leave their company offers.
While the U.S. does not federally mandate paid paternity leave - as is practiced in England, increasingly companies are moving to offer men more time off with pay. For instance, earlier this year Yahoo extended its parental-leave policy to provide up to eight weeks of fully paid leave for both mothers and fathers.
In the United States, the only mandate for parental leave is the Family Medical Leave Act, which ensures that men and women receive twelve weeks of job-protected unpaid leave. Paternity leave isn't even an option for most American workers. According to a story published in Forbes recently, only 13% of American employers offer paternity leave.
I am an advocate for fathers getting paternity leave, when responsibly administered. Just by perusing David Popenoe’s classic on Life Without Father, one cannot help but be convinced that fathers need to spend more time with their children.
Popenoe contends that “even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers.”
In addition, these children also are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the neighborhood. Infants who receive high levels of affection from their fathers (e.g., babies whose fathers respond quickly to their cries and who play together) are more securely attached; that is, they can explore their environment comfortably when a parent is nearby and can readily accept comfort from their parent after a brief separation. A number of studies suggest they also are more sociable and popular with other children throughout early childhood.
One would expect that with such positive outcomes, many would welcome the idea of dads spending structured time with their children. Countries around the world, such as Sweden and Portugal, have mandated leave for fathers, but leave in America remains stubbornly short—if it is taken at all.
One study published in the Journal of Social Issues found that caregiving men get treated more disrespectfully at work than men who adhere to traditional gender roles. Maybe that's why, following the birth of a child, less than 5% of American dads took one month off, and 16% took no time at all, according to data released by the Center for Work and Family at Boston College.
Many men who openly identify with their parental role at work face pressure or resentment from co-workers. Recent research from the University of Toronto's Rottman School of Management found that men who are active caregivers get teased and insulted at work more than so-called traditional fathers and men without children. Active fathers are seen as distracted and less dedicated to their work. According to Jennifer Berdhal, the author of this study, “active fathers are accused of being wimpy or henpecked by their wives.”
When one combines the impact of these findings with the declining role of fathers in the wider society – no wonder our children are so directionless. Today’s children are victims of decades of social experiments in free sex, women’s liberation and divorce.
Interestingly, with the growth of biblical illiteracy, we are witnessing the decline and demise of social institutions. Frequently, the Psalms introduced God as the Father of the fatherless. The inference is clear – the absence of a father’s influence required divine intervention.
The problems posed by absent fathers in the days of the psalmists, are no different from today. Our social experiments to remove fathers from family life are doomed to fail. The apostle Paul was correct, “let God be true and everyman a liar” (Romans 3:4).
As far as I am concerned, paternity leave ensures that fathers can be clearly identified and be given opportunities to function responsibly in the interest of the child and the wider community.
According to Ken Matos, director of research at the Families and Work Institute, a New York City-based nonprofit organization, the decision of Prince William sends a powerful message to the public. “Not only does it seem like William genuinely wants to be a present father, the royal couple knows that everything they do is aspirational.” It is possible that Prince William may be trying to set an example for fathers to take advantage of any paternity leave their company offers.
While the U.S. does not federally mandate paid paternity leave - as is practiced in England, increasingly companies are moving to offer men more time off with pay. For instance, earlier this year Yahoo extended its parental-leave policy to provide up to eight weeks of fully paid leave for both mothers and fathers.
In the United States, the only mandate for parental leave is the Family Medical Leave Act, which ensures that men and women receive twelve weeks of job-protected unpaid leave. Paternity leave isn't even an option for most American workers. According to a story published in Forbes recently, only 13% of American employers offer paternity leave.
I am an advocate for fathers getting paternity leave, when responsibly administered. Just by perusing David Popenoe’s classic on Life Without Father, one cannot help but be convinced that fathers need to spend more time with their children.
Popenoe contends that “even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers.”
In addition, these children also are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the neighborhood. Infants who receive high levels of affection from their fathers (e.g., babies whose fathers respond quickly to their cries and who play together) are more securely attached; that is, they can explore their environment comfortably when a parent is nearby and can readily accept comfort from their parent after a brief separation. A number of studies suggest they also are more sociable and popular with other children throughout early childhood.
One would expect that with such positive outcomes, many would welcome the idea of dads spending structured time with their children. Countries around the world, such as Sweden and Portugal, have mandated leave for fathers, but leave in America remains stubbornly short—if it is taken at all.
One study published in the Journal of Social Issues found that caregiving men get treated more disrespectfully at work than men who adhere to traditional gender roles. Maybe that's why, following the birth of a child, less than 5% of American dads took one month off, and 16% took no time at all, according to data released by the Center for Work and Family at Boston College.
Many men who openly identify with their parental role at work face pressure or resentment from co-workers. Recent research from the University of Toronto's Rottman School of Management found that men who are active caregivers get teased and insulted at work more than so-called traditional fathers and men without children. Active fathers are seen as distracted and less dedicated to their work. According to Jennifer Berdhal, the author of this study, “active fathers are accused of being wimpy or henpecked by their wives.”
When one combines the impact of these findings with the declining role of fathers in the wider society – no wonder our children are so directionless. Today’s children are victims of decades of social experiments in free sex, women’s liberation and divorce.
Interestingly, with the growth of biblical illiteracy, we are witnessing the decline and demise of social institutions. Frequently, the Psalms introduced God as the Father of the fatherless. The inference is clear – the absence of a father’s influence required divine intervention.
The problems posed by absent fathers in the days of the psalmists, are no different from today. Our social experiments to remove fathers from family life are doomed to fail. The apostle Paul was correct, “let God be true and everyman a liar” (Romans 3:4).
As far as I am concerned, paternity leave ensures that fathers can be clearly identified and be given opportunities to function responsibly in the interest of the child and the wider community.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Who Needs Daddy?
Shortly after giving birth, my daughter felt a hospital social worker was suggesting to her that it was better not to have the child’s father around. “If you do not have a husband with you, we will pay for the baby’s diapers and formula.” My daughter declined the offer. The social worker offered again, at which point our son-in-law walked into the room. “Do you want him in here?” was the daring question that came from the social worker.
I wish I could say that that interaction at a suburban hospital was exceptional – it was not. The interaction represented an attitude to the role of fathers in the lives of their children. He is merely viewed as a bank, both for sperms and financial support. If he is absent, the government will provide the funding. There are situations where it would seem more economically profitable for mothers, if fathers would simply be absent.
However, the economic cost of absent fathers is staggering. In his book, Life Without Father, sociologist David Popenoe contends that “the decline of fatherhood is a major force behind many of the most disturbing problems that plague us.” He further contends that "child-rearing encourages men to develop those habits of character - including prudence, cooperativeness, honesty, trust and self-sacrifice - that can lead to achievement as an economic provider." Poor women and their children are more likely to escape poverty in a stable relationship with a man who is an active father of the children.
Edward Kruk, writing about father absence, father deficit and father hunger in “Psychology Today” produced a list of woes: children without fathers actively in their lives have diminished self-concept, and compromised physical and emotional security. These children consistently report feeling abandoned when their fathers are not involved in their lives, struggling with their emotions and bouts of self-loathing.
Kruk also underlines the behavioral problems - fatherless children have more difficulties with social adjustment, and are more likely to report problems with friendships. Many develop a swaggering, intimidating persona in an attempt to disguise their underlying fears, resentments, anxieties and unhappiness. Gangs and violence and the adoration of the gun as power spring out of this condition.
Fatherless children show greater truancy from school and poorer academic performance. Kruk points out that some 71% of high-school dropouts are fatherless. Fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills.
Fatherlessness is a driver for delinquency and youth crime, including violent crime, Kruk notes, with 85% of youth in prison having an absent father.
The above statistics explain why I become so incensed with social workers like the one my daughter met in the hospital. She, like many in our society, would be willing to affirm the worth of mothers. But fathers? that is another matter. With such persons, fatherhood is viewed merely as a social role. And if merely a social role, then perhaps anyone is capable of playing that role. Players could include mothers, partners, stepfathers, uncles, aunts or grandparents. In essence, biological fathers are dispensable.
Miami Heat basketball superstar Dwayne Wade would disagree with that view. In a recent article, the single father said, “being a father is the most important and rewarding thing I will ever do, and I strongly encourage all fathers to love and take responsibility for their children.”
Last year, Wade wrote a book about his experience and the importance of all fathers being present in their children's lives. Addressing the fatherlessness issue across the country, he also teamed up with President Obama to support his Fatherhood & Mentoring Initiative.
One of the better books I’ve come across on the subject of fatherhood is Kyle Pruett’s, Fatherneed: Why Father Care Is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child. According to Publishers Weekly, Pruett’s book is “thoughtful, inspiring, and eminently practical, [it] belongs at the top of the ‘must have’ list for every father.”
Interestingly, after relegating the Bible to the archives of ancient literature, many are now finding themselves going back to its teachings. Even a casual reading of the book of Proverbs will highlight the importance of fatherhood. In the New Testament book of Ephesians, fathers are encouraged to nurture and encourage their children in Christian values. Fathers are charged not to abuse their influence and exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4).
Personally, I wish I had known this stuff when I became a father 36 years ago. I believe I would have been a much better father to our three children.
I wish I could say that that interaction at a suburban hospital was exceptional – it was not. The interaction represented an attitude to the role of fathers in the lives of their children. He is merely viewed as a bank, both for sperms and financial support. If he is absent, the government will provide the funding. There are situations where it would seem more economically profitable for mothers, if fathers would simply be absent.
However, the economic cost of absent fathers is staggering. In his book, Life Without Father, sociologist David Popenoe contends that “the decline of fatherhood is a major force behind many of the most disturbing problems that plague us.” He further contends that "child-rearing encourages men to develop those habits of character - including prudence, cooperativeness, honesty, trust and self-sacrifice - that can lead to achievement as an economic provider." Poor women and their children are more likely to escape poverty in a stable relationship with a man who is an active father of the children.
Edward Kruk, writing about father absence, father deficit and father hunger in “Psychology Today” produced a list of woes: children without fathers actively in their lives have diminished self-concept, and compromised physical and emotional security. These children consistently report feeling abandoned when their fathers are not involved in their lives, struggling with their emotions and bouts of self-loathing.
Kruk also underlines the behavioral problems - fatherless children have more difficulties with social adjustment, and are more likely to report problems with friendships. Many develop a swaggering, intimidating persona in an attempt to disguise their underlying fears, resentments, anxieties and unhappiness. Gangs and violence and the adoration of the gun as power spring out of this condition.
Fatherless children show greater truancy from school and poorer academic performance. Kruk points out that some 71% of high-school dropouts are fatherless. Fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills.
Fatherlessness is a driver for delinquency and youth crime, including violent crime, Kruk notes, with 85% of youth in prison having an absent father.
The above statistics explain why I become so incensed with social workers like the one my daughter met in the hospital. She, like many in our society, would be willing to affirm the worth of mothers. But fathers? that is another matter. With such persons, fatherhood is viewed merely as a social role. And if merely a social role, then perhaps anyone is capable of playing that role. Players could include mothers, partners, stepfathers, uncles, aunts or grandparents. In essence, biological fathers are dispensable.
Miami Heat basketball superstar Dwayne Wade would disagree with that view. In a recent article, the single father said, “being a father is the most important and rewarding thing I will ever do, and I strongly encourage all fathers to love and take responsibility for their children.”
Last year, Wade wrote a book about his experience and the importance of all fathers being present in their children's lives. Addressing the fatherlessness issue across the country, he also teamed up with President Obama to support his Fatherhood & Mentoring Initiative.
One of the better books I’ve come across on the subject of fatherhood is Kyle Pruett’s, Fatherneed: Why Father Care Is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child. According to Publishers Weekly, Pruett’s book is “thoughtful, inspiring, and eminently practical, [it] belongs at the top of the ‘must have’ list for every father.”
Interestingly, after relegating the Bible to the archives of ancient literature, many are now finding themselves going back to its teachings. Even a casual reading of the book of Proverbs will highlight the importance of fatherhood. In the New Testament book of Ephesians, fathers are encouraged to nurture and encourage their children in Christian values. Fathers are charged not to abuse their influence and exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4).
Personally, I wish I had known this stuff when I became a father 36 years ago. I believe I would have been a much better father to our three children.
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