Goodnight Friend

When teenage children feel as comfortable as their parents, with their parents’ friends, something special is happening. We found that to be true after meeting Jack and Karen Mitchell almost 25 years ago.


The Mitchell and Corbin families in Wheaton, Illinois.

Jack & Karen with our daughter, Candace
at a Fountainside church picnic in Florida.

The relationship between our families was so special that we had hoped some lifelong relationship could develop among the children.

Our friend Jack died a few days ago. Last year he was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. Recent research suggests the disease is possibly caused by sawdust, allergies, acid reflux, all of which Jack had or was exposed to. The disease causes the lung tissue to scar, thus not allowing oxygen to get through to the cells.

We met Jack in Illinois, shortly after coming to America to pursue advanced studies in 1991. Our paths crossed frequently as I shared the pulpit at the church he pastored in Wheaton. Those engagements often included family meals and opportunities to meet other foreign students studying in the area. 

After relocating, 400 miles seemed near as we travelled to surprise Jack for his fiftieth birthday. He and Karen even travelled further in order to visit us in Florida. The internet kept us together as the Mitchells moved to Budapest and later Kenya. A few months ago we travelled almost 3,000 miles to visit Jack for the last time. 

It was during that visit in California we reminisced on family times, his missionary assignments in the Caribbean, Europe and Africa. We laughed, sang and remembered the Lord Jesus in the ordinance of communion.
I will miss Jack. He was an encourager and very dear friend. At times, he would be the only person to comment on my weekly commentaries. He was an astute thinker and student of the Scriptures. I will miss his insightful comments. Sometimes I wondered why he thought it necessary to get my permission to share my commentaries with his students in Kenya – he was so authentic. He just never wasted an opportunity to bless someone else.

Upon learning of his death, I am discovering that many others around the world share my sentiments.
Like Mausau Elijah, who in 2011 was leading a fellowship group in Jack’s house at Scott Christian University, Kenya. His opening remarks to the group were, "where will you be five years from now"? Among the many answers, Mausau remembers, “Jack, my mentor, friend, teacher, the disciple of righteousness said, 'I will be in heaven.’” 

Jack was right, within five years he is no longer with us. What is obvious from the many tributes paid to Jack, is a sense of loss. Loss for Karen, his wife of more than 47 years. Loss for his four adult children and fourteen grandchildren. Loss for thousands of students, parishioners and friends. Much grief and great loss, but not hopelessness.

When confronted with the loss of loved ones in their church, the Thessalonians got word to the apostle Paul about their emotional and spiritual ambivalence. In his reply, he acknowledged the emotional impact of grief. However, he made a distinction between the grief one experiences when a Christian dies, as opposed to when a non-Christian dies.   

Hear Paul’s actual words, “Brothers, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who fall asleep, or grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). The implication is clear – Christians who die have hope. We understand that inscriptions on tombs and references in literature show that first-century non-Christians viewed death with horror. Death was the end of everything.

Paul contends, Christians should view death differently. For the Christian it is a confidence in crisis. That confidence is not in the loss of the loved one, but the outcome that results from that loss. But how is a confident outcome possible if someone is dead? Isn’t death a cessation of life? 

Actually, in this context, Paul preferred the term “fall asleep” instead of death. The term “fall asleep” conveys the idea of temporariness, as opposed to permanent absence. In the following verse Paul goes on to provide a basis for his “fall asleep” idea. 

He argues, “... Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him” (v.14). Paul resorts to history, not philosophy to substantiate his point. As far as he was concerned, the death and resurrection of Jesus were historical realities. Similarly, Christians who die, will rise again, just as Jesus died and rose again.

In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul reinforces this point: “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost...” (1 Corinthians 15:16-20). In other words, the Christian’s hope is not in a mere idea, but in a Person – Jesus Christ. 

It is for this reason, I found it more appropriate to entitle this commentary “Goodnight Friend” – a Good Morning is anticipated when the Mitchell family and Jack will meet again.