Sunday, June 17, 2012

How Much Is Dad Worth?

According to Insure.com, in 2012, dad’s contribution at home is worth about $20,000. A few weeks ago this same group assessed a mother’s worth at about $60,000 per annum. Using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the researchers assessed the value of dad’s domestic duties based on the hourly compensation individuals receive for performing similar tasks.

The bottom line, dad’s contribution is important, but not that significant. When added to the feminist frenzy of the seventies, some have concluded that dad’s physical presence is optional.

In many ways, our society has moved from the domination of men to the demise of men. We have fewer men in our classrooms both as students and teachers. With the increase of single mothers, there are fewer fathers at home with their children. This trend would seem to suggest that dad’s role is no longer unique - rather, it is optional.

This perception of dad is not consistent with a biblical understanding of fatherhood. Neither is it consistent with recent research. Dr. David Popenoe, one of the pioneers of the relatively young field of research into fathers and father-hood, stressed, “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home.” Popenoe contends, “Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring” (Life without father: Compelling new evidence that fatherhood and marriage are indispensable for the good of children and society - page 163).

The term “involved fathers” is the preferred term used by scholars who are involved in researching the impact of dads. One such scholar, Dr. Kyle Pruett (Yale Child Study Center) believes responsible fathering involves:

1. Feeling and behaving responsibly toward one’s child

2. Being emotionally engaged

3. Being physically accessible

4. Providing material support to sustain the child’s needs and

5. Exerting influence in child rearing decisions.

 
In his book, Fatherneed:Why Father Care Is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child, Pruett tells the story of his eighty-four year old mother.
“My mother, a veteran of fifty years in elementary education and still teaching at age eight-four, tells me she can pick out the “well-fathered” kids in her classes by their self-confidence and willingness to try new things” (page 42).
Pruett’s mother is correct, good fathers have a powerful and positive impact upon the development and health of their children. One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior (Mosely & Thompson (1995). Fathering behavior and child outcomes: The role of race and poverty. In Marsiglio (Ed.), Fatherhood: Contemporary theory, research, and social policy (pp. 148-165).

One of the most important influences a father can have on his child is indirect – fathers influence their children in large part through the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children. Fathers who treat the mothers of their children with respect and deal with conflict within the relationship in an adult and appropriate manner are more likely to have boys who understand how they are to treat women and who are less likely to act in an aggressive fashion toward females.

Girls with involved, respectful fathers see how they should expect men to treat them and are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships (Gable, Crnic & Belsky (1994). Coparenting within the family system: Influences on children’s development. Family Relations, 43(4), 380-386).

Literature and research in the field of fathering is impressive. Some of the findings indicate:

- children have better educational outcomes;

- children are more emotionally secure;

- children are more confident to explore their surroundings and relate better to their peers.

In light of the increasing research findings, one is prone to ask, what about persons who are deprived of father-figures in their lives? The Bible often places widows and the fatherless in similar categories. Both groups have lost significant males in their lives. Both groups are left with a void. Both groups appear to be defenseless. These are the ones the Psalmist had in mind when he said: “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” (Psalm 68:5-6).



Happy Fathers Day!

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