MEMORIES OF OUR FATHER

 

MEMORIES OF OUR FATHERS

 

On Father’s Day, my wife and I found ourselves reflecting on the impact our fathers had on our lives. We were raised on two different islands in the Caribbean, in a variety of different circumstances. However, we had one thing in common – we were influenced by men who cared.

As a child, I accompanied my dad on an early morning business trip. He was to receive payment for constructing a horse-drawn cart. Although he had an appointment, the wealthy client took enough time to visibly ignore my father. My father was obviously humiliated as he returned to the car where I witnessed everything. Dad was emotionally crushed. However, he never attempted to compete with the undignified behavior of his client. He probably thought it was more important to model meekness before his twelve-year old son.

Even as a child, my wife’s Jamaican step grandfather called her Miss Launa. On Sunday mornings he would take her to church on his bicycle. The five-mile journey included a hill. She recalls being placed on the bar of the bike as he pushed her up the hill. At times the church deacon would remove his black woolen jacket before entering the modest sanctuary. Little did my wife know that the Ira D. Sankey songs she learned at that church would shape her life. One of the songs that brought this six-year-old to tears was “I’ll Be Somewhere Listening to my Name”.

For me, May 26, 1963, was historic. It was in Trinidad on that quiet Sunday afternoon, my Dad piloted my journey of faith. He and Mom had just completed a series of discipleship interviews. I interrupted their closing procedures to announce my faith commitment. Dad picked-up that my intended announcement was more the quest of a seeker. I could still see the sides of his large Bible resting on his crossed legs. Mom got into a familiar posture, chin on chest while she prayed. Fifty-nine years later, I can confirm that God is still in the transformation business. That decision to become a Christian has affected my career, life-companion, worldview and friendships.

Launa and I cannot stop talking about the care of our fathers. The care was both for us, the immediate family and the community. Launa’s Dada owned land in rural Jamaica. He planted every fruit tree imaginable. He owned and slaughtered animals. She had a fruitful upbringing. It was Dada’s caring spirit that pulled him out of bed on September 01, 1957. For several hours he was helping the hundreds of passengers on the Kendal train crash. He assisted in sorting the bodies of some of the 175 persons who died in Jamaica’s worst transport accident.

We were both humbled with the generosity of my Dad in Trinidad. Forty-nine years ago we got married in Jamaica and moved to Trinidad to serve in Christian ministry. My Dad anticipated the housing challenges we would be facing as a young couple in ministry. On arrival in Trinidad we were offered a two-bedroom apartment. That generous display of thoughtfulness continues to benefit us. That home became a balm for many who were in pain and a place of rest for travelers.

Because of the leadership provided, we could never imagine taking stolen goods home. Our Dads were not known for intellectual ability, but you could not want more principled and godly men. We still chuckle when we recall an event in Trinidad. My Dad was introducing Launa to an old friend. We heard him say, “meet my daughter and son-in-law”. Yes, it was slip of the tongue, but it was a reflection of his heart. He received Launa as his own daughter.

What are your memories of the father figures in your life? Or, you might want to grapple with my question, “what memories am I leaving with those I influence as a father-figure”?

 

 

 

 

 

MENTAL HEALTH AND THE CHURCH

 There is a difference between mental illness and mental health. Mental illness is a medical condition that affects how we think, feel and act. Mental health on the other hand, is a general assessment of our emotional, psychological and social well-being. Both mental illness and mental health concern the brain. Our brains store memories, control muscles, automates bodily functions, process emotions and evaluates arguments.

Our existence depends on a properly functioning brain. Our mental health influences how we think, feel and behave in daily life. It affects our ability to cope with stress, overcome challenges, build relationships and recover from setbacks and hardships.

As a churchman, I am particularly interested in the influence of Christianity on mental health. Does the Christian message promote mental or emotional health? Does Christianity confirm the following mental health characteristics:

1. Mentally healthy people feel good about themselves. They accept who they are and do not live their lives based on what others feel or think about themselves. From my upbringing in the church I learned that I was “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). This is reinforced in the songs we sing and the testimonies we share at church.

2. Mentally healthy people understand and manage their emotions. They do not become overwhelmed by emotions like fear, anger, love, jealousy, guilt or anxiety. I am not a psychologist, but for more than fifty years I have been preaching that we should “cast our anxieties” on the Lord because He is fussy over us (1 Peter 5:7).

3. Mentally healthy people value lasting and satisfying personal relationships. We are social creatures with emotional needs for positive connections to others. Socially, we crave companionship. We were not created to survive in isolation. Jesus practiced this. The Bible mentioned that He increased “… in favour with man…” (Luke 2:52). The Bible is replete with enriching our social lives, using Jesus as our role model.

4. Mentally healthy people, value laughter. They laugh with others and even with themselves. They understand that laughing at your mistakes boosts physical and psychological health. When last have you heard that “a cheerful heart is good medicine…” (Proverbs 17:22)? I am presently preparing a sermon on joy – you cannot preach that with a frown. Christianity contends, people who worry less, are less prone to chronic stress.

5. Mentally healthy people respect others, even with their differences – they value mutual respect. They “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Like Paul, Peter wrote, “…show proper respect to everyone…” (1 Peter 2:17). Christianity discourages association with sinful practices, but encourages mutual respect. Respect builds feelings of trust, safety and well-being.

6. Mentally healthy people acknowledge that disappointments are inevitable. Life is not perfect, we will have to be willing to manage disappointments. Learn from disappointments and move on. Disappointments are included in the “all things” to which Paul referred in Romans 8:28. Paul contended that God is able to use the “all things” to bring about good for those who love Him.

7. Mentally healthy people learn to make their own decisions and to live with the consequences. The apostle Paul would say Amen to that. In his letter to the Galatians, he stated, “… a person reaps what he sows…” (Galatians 6:7). I saw that illustrated at church yesterday. When given the opportunity to choose, many publicly displayed their desire to experience more meaningful Christian lives. Those were sound resolutions to pursue righteousness and expect righteous results.

8. Mentally healthy people identify with environments that facilitate healthy growth. In other words, they do not practice hanging out with losers. They receive from and contribute to healthy communities. Communities that promote what is noble, what is true, pure, lovely and admirable. Communities that encourage and celebrate success. Honestly, that sounds like church. Churches preach this weekly (Philippians 4:8).

Many more characteristic could be added to this mental health shopping list. Christians also pursue forgiveness, benevolence, self-control, courage and contentment. Without even knowing it, Christians promote mental health every day. It is a vital part of wholesome living. Wholesome living is among the things Jesus promised. He said, “… I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).  

MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS AND EVIL

 Yesterday was Pentecost Sunday. During this birthday celebration of the church in southwestern Nigeria, at least 50 worshipers, including children, were killed by gunmen. The single brutal attack was more appalling than the mass killings we have witnessed in the United States within recent weeks. What causes such barbaric and gruesome acts of murder?

There are many answers and theories. One of the more prevalent is, mental health disorder. Mental Health Disorders or Mental Health Conditions, are a large and diverse group of issues that affect behavior patterns. Some of the most frequently diagnosed mental health disorders are – depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and schizophrenia.

It is believed that many mental health disorders are brought on by substance abuse and the absence of environments that emphasize mutual support and respect. Genetically, someone might be at higher risk to develop schizophrenia if it runs in their family’s genes, and/or if they have some kind of naturally occurring imbalance of chemicals in the brain. The same can be said of persons with bipolar disorders. This condition is seen more often in people with a sibling or parent (a first-degree relative) who have the condition.

In most cases, mental health disorders are triggered if environmental risk factors like stress, exposure to toxins or viruses during brain development or the use of mind-altering drugs are experienced. In essence, substance abuse and toxic environments are major contributors to mental health disorders. Environments like abusive family settings, poor role-modelling and the condoning of destructive behaviors in the culture, are recipes for bizarre behavior.

However, we must not attempt to remove personal responsibility for crime. Evil must not be overlooked. In assessing the recent tragedies, few opinions have included evil as a possible cause. By evil I mean the lack of goodness. Or, the diminishing of good in the world. According to Philosopher J.P. Moreland, “… evil is goodness spoiled. You have good without evil, but you cannot have evil without good.”

Evil demands that someone be held accountable for wrongdoing. Evil also presupposes the existence of law and a lawgiver. Evil is wrong done to others, and it can exist even when unaccompanied by external action. Murder is an evil action, but it has its start with the moral evil of hatred in the heart (Matthew 5:21-22). Jesus said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person” (Mark 7:20-23).

Some would refer to the words of Jesus as detoxification – the process of flushing the body of toxic substances that affect behavior. The Bible contends that the substances that affect behavior are far more destructive than drugs that alter brain chemicals. Again, it was Jesus who said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10).

This was illustrated a few days ago when one of our children overheard a child speaking to himself while playing a video game. “I can’t kill him. I have to kill him,” the child said. “who are you talking to” our adult child asked. Surprised, he uttered, “huh? Oh… it’s a game. It is my brother’s game.” “So, what do you do in the game?” He stared at the screen and said, “you do this and that and sometimes you have to kill people… but it’s just a game, not real life.”

That encounter at a public library is a sampling of a culture that continues to blur the lines between reality and fiction. We fail to realize that we undermine and trivialize the sacredness of life as we foster a culture of death. Jesus contends that murders begin in the mind.

Let us contribute to a culture that promotes character development. Let us restore virtue to our academic curricula. Let us promote the sacredness of every life. And remember, it was Jesus who said, “I have come that you might have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).