TAKE A BREAK AND SAY THANKS

 

 

During this Memorial Day, the United States will be remembering about 1 ½ million persons who have lost their lives in battle. Many of the freedoms we enjoy today, are because of the sacrifices others made. Memorial Day provides a tremendous opportunity to be grateful because of those who died while serving in the country’s armed forces.  

Gratitude is a basic human emotion. It is expressed in some way by all ancient and modern cultures. According to Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher and author of the book, Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, the idea of receiving a gift is central to the concept of gratitude.

While merely appreciating something for its positive qualities does have a positive impact on our lives and emotions, gratitude takes the next step beyond. Gratitude happens when we go beyond just appreciating something to acknowledging that we have received something that we did nothing to earn or deserve. On some level, the warm emotional rush we feel when we really feel gratitude is very much like the glow we feel from realizing we are unconditionally loved.

New research shows that practicing gratitude may be the fastest single pathway to happiness, health, long life, and prosperity. In a remarkable study performed by Dr. Emmons, people who kept a gratitude journal for just three weeks measured 25% higher on a life satisfaction scale. They exercised more, drank alcohol less, and their families and friends noticed that they were nicer to be around. And the effects lasted for several months beyond the initial three week study.

Other studies on gratitude confirm these results. People who take the time to notice and appreciate the good things that come their way through grace, or luck, or the goodness of others are happier and more peaceful. They do better on cognitive tests and tests of problem solving skills. They practice healthier habits, have better relationships, are more optimistic and live longer. Gratitude is one powerful emotion.

The power of gratitude is illustrated in the story of the ten lepers, recorded in Luke’s gospel. Of the ten lepers that were healed, one returned to say thanks. There are at least three lessons we can learn from that thankful leper:

1. Giving thanks is an intentional act of looking back. Giving thanks requires reflection. Furthermore, it assumes appreciation for the thing received. As an intentional act, giving thanks demands that we rearrange our priorities and make space for this expression of appreciation.

2. Giving thanks is an expression of thoughtfulness. Giving thanks provides opportunities to affirm others. It esteems and validates others. The person giving thanks chooses to shine the floodlight on the giver and the gift received.

3. Giving thanks is a display of humility. In giving thanks, one is acknowledging that a desire has been met. In expressing thanks, one is becoming vulnerable, in that one is affirming that there was a need and that need was met. Actually, giving thanks undermines pride and focuses on others. In essence, giving thanks tenderizes one’s attitudes.

Behavioral scientists are now confirming that people with a greater level of gratitude tend to have stronger relationships in that they appreciate their loved ones more. Studies confirm that thankful people are happier, display improved mental alertness, sleep better and tend to be healthier. Thankful people are also better equipped to offer emotional support to others.

Research confirms that thankful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors. They tend to be more optimistic, a characteristic that researchers say boosts the immune system. Did you know that optimistic patients are better prepared to undergo surgery and experience better health outcomes?

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul contended that thankfulness is a product of the control of the Holy Spirit in Christians (Ephesians 5:18-21). Paul argues that when a Christian is “filled/controlled with the Spirit”, that Christian acquires an appreciative disposition. I pray that that disposition will be very visible in you and me during Memorial Day ceremonies.

DOES YOUR CHURCH BRING VALUE?

 Sociologists use the term “social capital” in reference to “the networks of relationships among people who live and work in a particular society, enabling the society to function effectively.” Social capital is the resources, networks and relationships that exist within communities. This kind of capital contributes to trust, reciprocity, mutual support and collective action among individuals and groups within society.

Religion, and more specifically the church, makes a significant contribution to social capital within communities. By fostering trust, reciprocity, and collective action, social capital contributes to the development of societies and enhances the overall quality of life for individuals and communities alike.

For instance, the phenomenon of education for the masses has its roots in Christianity. Christianity shattered the idea of education for the elite only. It gave rise to the concept of education for everyone. Furthermore, the idea of the university has its roots in Christianity as well. The greatest universities worldwide were started by Christians for Christian purposes.  It was because of the sweat and sacrifice of Christians that Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and other universities were created.

The idea of education for everyone grew directly out of the Christian Reformation. Agreed, there were sporadic attempts at educational reform before the sixteenth century, especially under the reign of Charlemagne. But after his death in AD 814, major attempts at education for everyone died. It wasn’t until the Bible became the focal point of Christianity again that education for the masses was reborn. The invention of the printing press in the fifteenth century was significant in this development.

The contribution of Christianity to social capital was also evident in civil liberties, medicine, the Arts, economics and sexuality. Influencing the disciplines was what Jesus had in mind when He called his followers salt and light. His followers were expected to make a difference wherever they were placed. His followers were expected to bring flavor, preservation and reduce darkness. Unfortunately, some professing Christians have contributed to decay and darkness at specific periods in history. However, those negatives represent the exception, and not the rule.

In his letter to young Timothy, Paul admonished him to pray for everyone, especially for those in national leadership. Why? “… that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good and pleases God our Savior…” (1 Timothy 2:1-3). In another letter, Paul challenged the Romans to “live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:16-18).

The Bible expects Christian churches to make a difference in the communities in which they are located. In other words, what would your community miss should your church relocate? Some communities would miss the after-school programs, others the soup kitchens for the less fortunate, the creative arts classes and sports clinics.

I can only hope that your list would include activities that facilitate character change. Activities that result in spiritual conversion, emotional healing, forgiveness and reconciliation. Like Satan, our mission is not to steal, kill and destroy life, but rather to facilitate superabundant living that Jesus provides.

The Christian church is much more than real estate property in the community. It is social capital, bringing value and meaning to life. It undermines crime. It promotes the institution of marriage. It is salt, bringing flavor and avoiding corruption. It is God’s light in the kingdom of darkness. What a privilege to be a part of the institution, Jesus referred to as HIS CHURCH.

 

THE PROCESS OF SELECTING RELIGIOUS LEADERS

 A few days ago, American-born Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost was elected the 267^th Roman Catholic Pope. Electors from  the College of Cardinals met in the Sistine Chapel, in the Vatican City, to elect the new Pope.

The process of electing Pope Leo was carefully structured and followed a sacred procedure. Prior to the election, cardinals were locked inside the Sistine Chapel for the entirety of the election process, with no contact with the outside world. All cardinals, less than eighty years of age, were eligible to vote.

They entered the Chapel chanting the hymn “Come, Holy Spirit”. The chapel was secured to ensure complete secrecy. Voting was by secret ballot, handwritten on paper. Each cardinal wrote and submitted the name of his chosen candidate. Ballots were collected, counted and burned. A candidate must receive a two-thirds majority of the votes to be elected Pope.

As a non-Catholic, I was particularly intrigued with the process. Everything was done to ensure that the process was solemn and impartial. I was also enthralled by the response of the thousands of Catholics awaiting the outcome of the conclave. As the white smoke appeared from the chimney, onlookers cheered, prayed and wept. Their expressions of joy preceded the actual announcement of the person elected.

I believe a similar joy was expressed among the disciples when they selected Matthias to replace Judas, who committed suicide after betraying Jesus. The book of Acts records that about 120 persons gathered for prayer. Among those who met with the disciples were Mary, the mother of Jesus and her other sons (Acts 1:14).

Two men met the criteria to replace Judas. However, they needed to choose only one man. Then they prayed, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry…then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles” (Acts 1:24-26).

Let’s carefully observe the process. An atmosphere of prayer captured the room. In other words, there was a corporate sense of dependence on God to direct them in making the right decision. In addition, they expressed a sense of transparency when they prayed, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart…”. Such vulnerability was a reflection of their unbiased quest to choose the better man. They saw their role as identifying God’s choice. But how was God’s choice to be identified?

For them, the process of choice had to reflect the character of God – the process had to be just. An unjust system would not reflect God’s choice. But was there a system that reflected justice and could guarantee unbiased results? A system where the outcome could not be pre-determined by the electors. It was with that desire in mind, the disciples chose to cast lots.

Casting lots was an ancient practice used to make decisions or determine a divine choice. It involved using small objects—such as stones, sticks, or pieces of pottery—that were cast or thrown to produce a random result, similar to drawing straws, rolling dice, or flipping a coin. While the exact method used was a human choice, the outcome was not. The outcome was unknown. The book of Proverbs expressed it this way: “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord”(Prov. 16:33).

I wish I could say that this method is always practiced when leaders are to be appointed in churches. Some groups require unanimity among electors. Such a system erroneously suggests that “the voice of the people is the voice of God”. And, at times, allow a minority to undermine the desire of a majority.

Some other groups make decisions based on consensus. Such decisions lack specificity in decision-making and often result in unexpressed discontentment. Very often I have found the private ballot system to be the least contentious. It respects the opinion of each elector and contributes to decency and order. Godly people respect the process and the outcome of the leaders chosen.

At times, the Holy Spirit speaks through electors and identify specific persons for the task ahead. One such case appeared in the church at Antioch. Luke recorded that while they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them” (Acts 13:2). The church responded appropriately by commissioning both gentlemen to ministry. I often wonder though, through whom did the Holy Spirit convey that instruction? And also, is my church sufficiently sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit today?

 

I WAS NO MAMA'S PET

I am the fifth of six children. In addition, I am the fourth of four boys. Based on ranking among my siblings, I did not qualify to be Mama’s pet. I was one of the children. And that was okay, because mother was fair. From my perspective, she showed no partiality.

Her fair and balanced leadership was evident in the care she provided. I was raised in a one-pot family. We all ate what was provided from mother’s kitchen. We never went to school hungry. We knew nothing about wearing soiled clothing. My khaki pants were starched and well-ironed. Her full time job was to care for us and my hard working dad.

Dad was a committed blacksmith and Mom managed the home. Although a disciplinarian in her own rights, you knew you were in big trouble when she said, “you wait until your Dad gets home”. He was the senior leader at our local church, and she was his able supporter. He was literally strict and inflexible. He would probably prefer to describe himself as consistent and reliable. To lead six Caribbean children in the mid-twentieth century required less rigidity and more diplomacy. Mom provided that.

She displayed that diplomacy when one of my brothers left home. Dad gave him an ultimatum and he chose to leave. Dad never expected him to take that option, but he did. The tension in the home was very obvious – Dad’s authority was challenged. Dad realized if my brother were to return, he would need to soften his stance – but that seemed unlikely. Diplomacy was necessary, and mother stepped-in. In Dad’s absence, she began her search for her prodigal son. She pleaded with him to return home. However, before he attempted to return, she negotiated with my Dad. My brother returned, and according to Dad, “it was because of your Mother”.

From my perspective as a teenager, Mom was the champion. She possessed the negotiating skills to pull together two prodigals – one who left home and the other who left his compassion. I could only observe that event, because Mom never shared any negative opinions about Dad with her children. We were always encouraged to respect Dad. She was his faithful supporter and strong manager in his absence.

At Mom’s 100^th Birthday celebration, accolades came from numerous quarters. My wife did a monologue of Mom’s life. Launa sat like Mom with the 100 family members and guests drinking-in every word. She imitated Mom’s Trinidad accent and described how she interacted with each of her six children. Mom laughed her head off, expressing surprise at how accurately her Jamaican daughter-in-law depicted her life.

My mother and Launa had an amazing relationship. That seemed inevitable, in that it was Mom’s influence that affected my choice of a life companion. Unconsciously, I found someone who displayed Mom’s godly traits. Someone who understood and valued family loyalty. Someone who disliked small-talk and gossip. For almost forty years, Mom and Launa related to each other as Mother and daughter. On many occasions Launa challenged my insensitive male ego and reminded me to nurture my mother.

Shortly after celebrating her 102^nd birthday, Mom left us with her memories. Among those memories were her meetings with Launa’s mother. Although old enough to be Launa’s mother, Mom never assumed that posture. They related to each other as sisters. Their meetings were always cordial and respectful. Launa’s mother often was the center of attraction at family gatherings. She brought youth, skill and much humor. My mother relished those moments. She also grieved with us when Launa’s mother left us five years before Mom did.

Like my mother, Launa reminds me to be more frugal. Whereas Launa worked in banking, I never saw my mother go into a bank. Dad entrusted Mom with funds, especially when he was building our first family home. Mom demonstrated banking skills she never learned in a classroom. I can recall hearing my Dad tell the story of needing to pay workmen on the building site. That weekend he did not have enough funds for the no-mortgage project. He shared his plight with Mom. To his surprise, she produced a pan in which she had been saving funds he gave her for managing the home. She had just enough to avoid work stoppage on the site of construction. That kind of frugality Launa continues to display – without a pan from under the bed.

Agreed, my mother is not around to celebrate Mother’s Day 2025 with me. That’s okay, she has left me with enough memories. Her legacy continues through another Mother – the mother of our three adult children. A mother who understands sacrifice and self-less nurturing. A mother who interjects flexibility when my sternness is not working.

Years ago, I was of the opinion that becoming a mother allowed my wife to maximize her potential as a woman. Then she became a grandmother. What a difference! She has gone beyond maximizing potential. As expressed in Proverbs 31:29, I can also say, “many women do noble things, but you surpass them all”.

Happy Mother’s Day to the nurturing women sharing this commentary. You have encouraged many, and today we rise up to salute and celebrate you and your extraordinary service.