FOR WHAT WILL I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

Like millions around the world, I am sad because of the assassination of Charlie Kirk. He lived a phenomenal life. His murder was senseless, until his widow challenged the world to revisit her husband’s purpose for living.

Charlie’s tragedy left his wife Erika with a load. The widow and mother of two little girls, stood before a microphone, within 48 hours of his death, and declared that his vision was not dead. Neither would his voice be silent, even with a bullet to his throat. His extraordinary impact as a Christian and a conservative thought leader will continue. According to his wife, “my husband’s voice will remain, and it will ring out louder and more clearly than ever. And his wisdom will endure.”

While addressing a chapter of Turning Point USA at a college campus in Utah, Charlie was assassinated. He founded the conservative group at the age of eighteen. Within thirteen years, the movement spread to 3,500 high schools and colleges throughout the United States. Turning Point USA has gone on to become one of the most influential politically conservative organizations in the country.

Like many others, I was eager to hear Erika Kirk’s first public statement since her husband’s assassination. Although still broken by Charlie’s passing, Erika spoke with courage. She exuded strength. She never asked for pity or revenge. With confidence she contended that “the movement my husband built will not die. It won’t. I refuse to let that happen…no one will ever forget my husband’s name. And I will make sure of it. It will become stronger, bolder, louder and greater than ever. My husband’s mission will not end. Not even for a moment.”

Television journalists and their guests were in awe of Erika’s courage. “From where did she get that boldness”, some asked. Honestly, Erika is no novice. Unlike her late husband, she is an academic giant. She is currently pursuing doctoral studies. But what she displayed in the midst of her grief, was much more than academic brilliance. She spoke with Christian grace. She displayed divine empowerment.

In response to her presentation, journalists were searching for appropriate words to describe what they had just witnessed. For me, their reaction became a part of the story. They were emotionally distraught. Some referred to Erika’s presentation as very inspirational. I believe they meant very convicting. Convicting because the expected rancor was replaced by reason. Reason to consider Charlie’s love and commitment to Jesus Christ. Reason to passionately proceed, rather than retreat.

I am aware that there have been toxic responses to Charlie’s assassination. However, I will not disdain this commentary with any further comment on such distractions. I will choose to remember the absence of any violent reaction from the thousands of students whose lives were impacted by Charlie Kirk. I will choose to affirm the spiritual renewal evident among young people. I will choose to focus on Charlie’s legacy of courage and faith. I will focus on the good, others intended for evil. I will pray that Erika will surround herself with godly counselors. I will pray that she will continue to be empowered by the divine Counselor, who Jesus promised when He was leaving this world.

Some months ago, when asked in an interview, how would he want to be remembered, Charlie Kirk replied, “for my courage and my faith.” Wow! Would we have answered like Charlie? Honestly, we will not be here forever. Hopefully, our departure will not be as tragic as Charlie’s. But we will still need to answer the question, “for what would I want to be remembered?”

MENTAL HEALTH AND EVIL

Within recent weeks, we have witnessed horrific murders here in the United States. Some contend it is because of insufficient gun laws. One of the more prevalent reasons advanced is, mental health disorder. Mental Health Disorders or Mental Health Conditions, are a large and diverse group of issues that affect behavior patterns. Some of the most frequently diagnosed mental health disorders are – depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and schizophrenia.

It is believed that many mental health disorders are brought on by substance abuse and the absence of environments that emphasize mutual support and respect. Genetically, someone might be at higher risk to develop schizophrenia if it runs in their family’s genes, and/or if they have some kind of naturally occurring imbalance of chemicals in the brain. The same can be said of persons with bipolar disorders. This condition is seen more often in people with a sibling or parent (a first-degree relative) who have the condition.

In most cases, mental health disorders are triggered if environmental risk factors like stress, exposure to toxins or viruses during brain development or the use of mind-altering drugs are experienced. In essence, substance abuse and toxic environments are major contributors to mental health disorders. Environments like abusive family settings, poor role-modelling and the condoning of destructive behaviors in the culture, are recipes for bizarre behavior.

However, we must not attempt to remove personal responsibility for crime. Evil must not be overlooked. In assessing the recent tragedies, few opinions have included evil as a possible cause. By evil I mean the lack of goodness. Or, the diminishing of good in the world is considered, evil. According to Philosopher J.P. Moreland, “… evil is goodness spoiled. You have good without evil, but you cannot have evil without good.”

Evil demands that someone be held accountable for wrongdoing. Evil also presupposes the existence of law and a lawgiver. Evil is wrong done to others, and it can exist even when unaccompanied by external action. Murder is an evil action, but it has its start with the moral evil of hatred in the heart (Matthew 5:21-22). Jesus said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person” (Mark 7:20-23).

Some would refer to the words of Jesus as detoxification – the process of flushing the body of toxic substances that affect behavior. The Bible contends that the substances that affect behavior are far more destructive than drugs that alter brain chemicals. Again, it was Jesus who said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10). 

This was illustrated a few months ago when one of our children overheard a child speaking to himself while playing a video game. “I can’t kill him. I have to kill him,” the child said. “who are you talking to” our adult child asked. Surprised, he uttered, “huh? Oh… it’s a game. It is my brother’s game.” “So, what do you do in the game?” He stared at the screen and said, “you do this and that and sometimes you have to kill people… but it’s just a game, not real life.”

That encounter at a public library is a sampling of a culture that continues to blur the lines between reality and fiction. We fail to realize that we undermine and trivialize the sacredness of life as we foster a culture of death. Jesus contends that murders begin in the mind.

Let us contribute to a culture that promotes character development. Let us restore virtue to our academic curricula. Let us promote the sacredness of every life. And remember, it was Jesus who said, “I have come that you might have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AUNTIE RUBY WENT HOME

 

Thankfully, I was lying down when my wife read the text from Trinidad, “Auntie Ruby went home.” About one month ago we visited Ruby Esla Thompson, during our short visit to the island. We were the first to sign her 97^th birthday card. During the visit we were mutually encouraged as we reflected on God’s goodness to us through decades of fellowship and ministry.

Ruby Thompson, affectionately known as Auntie Ruby, was a shining example of dedication, commitment and excellence as a Christian and an educator. She was the first recipient of a Teachers’ Scholarship given by the government of Trinidad and Tobago for studies at the University College of the West Indies, Jamaica (1951 to 1955).

As teacher, vice-principal and principal, she made an indelible mark on many lives, and generations of accomplished teachers, professors, lawyers, doctors, engineers, politicians and other outstanding professionals. She did tremendous volunteer work in schools, churches, homes, camps, community groups and other institutions world-wide, introducing and supporting the growth of Sunday Schools, Youth Departments, and other Christian youth and student ministries.

Under her leadership, the first Inter-School Christian Fellowship group was started among high schools in Trinidad. For decades she mentored students and assumed leadership at various levels in tertiary education.

In 2011, in commemoration of 56 years of service, the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students World Assembly honored her as the longest serving IFES staff-volunteer in the world! Her participation in the 2015 IFES World Assembly saw that record extended to 60 years of continuous service in national and international student ministry.

In 2012, at the 50^th Anniversary Independence Awards, the Government of Trinidad and Tobago recognized her with a Gold Medal of Merit for Outstanding Contributions in the field of Education. On the occasion of her 90^th birthday, I was privileged to lead a team from the Caribbean Graduate School of Theology, to confer on her the award, Doctor of Divinity (Honoris Causa).

In 1973, Dr Thompson served on the committee that introduced the international Keswick Bible Convention to Trinidad and Tobago. For decades her leadership was evident in many national prayer initiatives. Generations of Caribbean ministers, pastors, church workers, lay workers and missionaries cite her and the ministries she pioneered, as having directly influenced their decisions for full-time ministry and other areas of service. 

In referring to the late Auntie Ruby, one can comfortably say, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants” (Psalm 116:15). The New Living Translation expresses the meaning more naturally to modern readers: “The LORD cares deeply when his loved ones die.” Indeed, God is not indifferent about how and when His faithful servants die.

We thank God for a life well-lived. Even at her passing, her biological and adopted children and grandchildren will rise-up and call her blessed (Proverbs 31:28).

LESSONS FROM MY CHILDREN

 

On Father’s Day we traditionally reflect on the importance of fathers and the impact they have on children. This year, I am choosing to reflect on the impact children have on fathers. This topic would not be discussed when I was a child. I was raised at a time when it appeared as though children were to be seen and not heard. Their opinions rarely mattered. The opinions of children seem to matter only in response to information provided – like in an exam room.

Interestingly, our children expressed themselves. Rudeness was not allowed, but opinions were encouraged. It was that freedom that allowed our son to respond, “me and you alone?” He was responding to my invitation to have breakfast with him. The teenager continued, “what is there to talk about?” However, a few years later, after having breakfast with him alone, he phoned his mother to report that he had just experienced the best two hours of his life. He admitted to her that he never realized that his Dad was so wise.

Years later, his younger sister resented the counsel I provided regarding a particular matter. Without uttering the words, her body language suggested that I was out of touch with her generation. As she matured, a friend counseled her about a more appropriate way to handle a matter. She thought her friend’s counsel was profound. I gently reminded her that it was the same counsel I gave to her years earlier. To this she replied, “Daddy, you were correct then, but I was not ready to receive it.” 

Wow! Both she and her brother taught me that wise counsel must be age appropriate both in delivery and receptivity. Recipients must be sufficiently mature to value the counsel given. As parents, we often assume that the children need our wisdom, but we need to be equally aware that they may not be sufficiently prepared to apply that truth from us. At times, they receive that same truth from others. For this we must be grateful, even though we were not the messengers.

From childhood, our three children respected my role as their father. That respect extended to my role as teacher which was shared outside the home. Our eldest daughter tested my teacher role when she was preparing for college. She was prepared to pursue her studies in Architecture. At that time, my wife and I were pursuing advanced studies. Although funds were scarce, we were determined to assist her to realize her dreams. 

After much research, we had to choose between two universities. One was our daughter’s choice. It was the better school, but also the more expensive school. Because of the cost, I encouraged her to consider the less expensive school. To this she replied, “Daddy, whichever I choose, you will have to trust God to provide the funds for us. Why can’t you trust God to provide for the better school?” I had no reply, and she applied and graduated from the better school.

That question has resurfaced so often in other situations – why can’t you trust God for the better school? That question has driven me to pursue excellence and resent mediocrity. As a Christian minister, it has radicalized my understanding of God’s ability to provide. Far too often we associate God with the less elegant and call it modesty. Sometimes we even embrace cheapness and shoddiness and believe we are being gracious. 

At this season in my life I embrace a God who invites me “to sing new songs” to Him. That is an invitation to be innovative, to be spontaneous and to be creative. Even in describing a scene in heaven, John wrote, “The sound I heard was like that of harpists playing their harps. And they sang a new song before the throne…” (Revelation 14:2-3).

On this Father’s Day, I thank God for my children, and now my grandchildren. They are continuing to teach me that it is okay to trust God for something better. They remind me that it is godly to pursue excellence and creativity.

WHEN LEADERS FIGHT

 In his volume, A Knot of Vipers, Francois Mauriac (1885-1970), tells the story of an old man who spent the last decades of his marriage, in the same house, but down the hall from his wife. A rift opened 30 years earlier about whether the husband showed enough concern, when their five-year-old daughter took ill. Neither husband nor wife was willing to take the first step to bring healing. Every night they waited for each other to initiate an approach. Neither one would break the cycle that began decades earlier. Neither will forgive.

The absence of forgiveness kills joy and creates toxic relationships. If you doubt me, ask President Donald Trump and Elon Musk. After what appeared to be a cordial working relationship, Musk expressed his disagreement with the Congressional spending bill. He thought it was “a disgusting abomination”. That led to the two leaders trading fierce social barbs.

Thankfully, at the time of writing this commentary, the leaders began to soften their toxic rhetoric. The President was “open to reconciling” and Elon Musk had regrets for posts about the President. Hopefully, this toning down will lead to apologies about personal attacks. Whereas disagreeing with policy is okay, assassinating one’s character is unacceptable. That kind of warfare is unproductive and costly.

Since the public spat began, Musk’s Tesla stock price plunged by 14%, wiping out more than $150 billion from its market cap. The prospect of Musk’s SpaceX losing even some of its government contracts would hurt. Could a drawn-out fight mean that Trump would somehow hamstring Musk’s xAI even as he champions other American artificial intelligence companies? The truth is, should reconciliation fail, both men and many others will suffer greatly. 

If we could only give more thought to “the others who suffer greatly”, many of our conflicts will be resolved more speedily. Conflict resolution requires vulnerability, humility, truthfulness, respectful communication techniques, mutually beneficial collaboration and de-escalation techniques.

The apostle Paul recommended some of these conflict management principles when he responded to two church sisters who experienced conflicts  (Philippians 4:2-3). Paul’s wording would suggest that this was a personal disagreement or a clash of personalities. To mention the names of the conflicting women in a public letter, could suggest that the issue became a threat to the church.

The nature of Paul’s appeal for resolution further suggests the magnitude of the problem. He repeats the use of the verb beseech to ensure that each woman was appropriately addressed. His appeal was simple – “agree with each other.” In other words, be at one in your mental attitude. The women were allowing their differing opinions to affect their attitudes to each other. Their personal differences seemed to be more important than the welfare of others. In conflict management, personal differences must be balanced properly. Otherwise, our differences can undermine progress and stifle diversity and variety. For Paul, and hopefully for us, the welfare of others must remain primary in managing conflict.  

The victims in any conflict are usually more than the warring parties. The warring parties usually suspend the strengths that unite them and resort to behavior that divide. Paul used an athletic metaphor to describe how the women contended with him in ministry. Like in a tug-of-war game, they struggled together.  They had a common goal and achieved much. Contenders for the faith became contentious in behavior. That behavior was ruining their reputation and legacy. Their disagreement was also disrupting existing opportunities for ministry.

From his prison cell, Paul recommended three principles for resolving conflicts:

1. Look for impartial counselors;

2. Appeal to common bonds; and

3. If necessary, suffer personal loss, because of “those who will suffer greatly”.

In the interest of “those who will suffer greatly”,  it is preferred that we learn to forgive, and to practice using terms like “I am sorry “and “I apologize”. Recent research in the Social Sciences confirms that “forgiveness releases an offender from prolonged anger, rage and stress that have been linked to physiological problems, such as cardiovascular diseases, high blood pressure, hypertension, cancer and other psychosomatic illnesses.” And, never forget the biblical teaching, “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

IS MY CHURCH A CULT?

No church is perfect. Since Jesus stated, “…I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it” (Matthew 16:18), the church has been confronted with numerous challenges. Because of these challenges, the church has become more resilient as a community of overcomers. 

Strategies of overcoming were evident from within the New Testament. The fledgling church confronted Jewish influences. Among them was Apollos, a native of Alexandria. “He knew only the baptism of John.” When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, “they invited him to their home and explained the way of God more adequately” (Acts 18:24).

Other confrontations required more than a home visit. Some opponents were reprimanded publicly, some were shunned and even excommunicated. In each case, an assessment was necessary, and the appropriate discipline applied. Discipline was applied after determining if the issues concerned doctrinal beliefs or the practicing of those beliefs.

Sometimes we describe deviant behavior among Christian groups as cultic. Cultic groups are usually led by charismatic and self-appointed leaders, who tightly control members, requiring unwavering devotion to a set of beliefs. Here are a few forms of control that cultic groups normally display:

■ Behavior Control: An individual’s associations, living arrangements, food, clothing, sleeping habits, finances, etc., are strictly controlled.
■ Information Control: Cult leaders deliberately withhold or distort information, lie, propagandize, and limit access to other sources of information.

■ Thought Control: Cult leaders use loaded words and language, discourage critical thinking, bar any speech critical of cult leaders or policies, and teach an “us vs. them” doctrine.
■ Emotional Control: Leaders manipulate their followers via fear (including the fear of losing salvation, fear of excommunication, etc.), guilt, and indoctrination.

Earlier, we established that the church belongs to Jesus. The apostle Paul contended that “Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25). Hence, it is reasonable to expect members of the church to know, love and obey the Owner. Cults have a problem with knowing, loving and obeying Jesus. Some see Him as an angel, a mere prophet, a shaman or even a guru. 

The core of the Christian message is the historical Jesus of the New Testament. In his letter to the Galatians, Paul contends, any message without the historical Jesus as the center, is not the Christian message. Jesus deserves more than a prominent place, he must have the only place. “If anyone,” contends Paul, “ is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse” (Galatians 1:9).

Cultic leaders normally see themselves, or are seen by followers, as chosen by and as authoritative as Jesus. They demand absolute obedience as Jesus would. Their writings are revered as the teachings of Jesus. Some cultic leaders would even claim exclusive access to Jesus via dreams and revelational insight. 

That alleged insight authorizes them to ignore acceptable principles of interpreting the Scriptures. They show total disregard for orthodoxy and scholarship with the wider community of faith. Coupled with this is an attitude of isolation and exclusivism. They listen to no one else but themselves. They see themselves as beyond needing counsel from other leaders within the community of faith. Following the dictates of their founder, one group sees itself as the remnant church. In essence, we are the true church. 

Now if you witness these cultic outcomes, along with fiscal mismanagement and inappropriate sexual behavior among your leaders, you need to withdraw from that group. You need to seek help from others in the wider community of believers. You need to consider Paul’s words to the Colossians: “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ” (Colossians 2:8).

TAKE A BREAK AND SAY THANKS

 

 

During this Memorial Day, the United States will be remembering about 1 ½ million persons who have lost their lives in battle. Many of the freedoms we enjoy today, are because of the sacrifices others made. Memorial Day provides a tremendous opportunity to be grateful because of those who died while serving in the country’s armed forces.  

Gratitude is a basic human emotion. It is expressed in some way by all ancient and modern cultures. According to Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher and author of the book, Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, the idea of receiving a gift is central to the concept of gratitude.

While merely appreciating something for its positive qualities does have a positive impact on our lives and emotions, gratitude takes the next step beyond. Gratitude happens when we go beyond just appreciating something to acknowledging that we have received something that we did nothing to earn or deserve. On some level, the warm emotional rush we feel when we really feel gratitude is very much like the glow we feel from realizing we are unconditionally loved.

New research shows that practicing gratitude may be the fastest single pathway to happiness, health, long life, and prosperity. In a remarkable study performed by Dr. Emmons, people who kept a gratitude journal for just three weeks measured 25% higher on a life satisfaction scale. They exercised more, drank alcohol less, and their families and friends noticed that they were nicer to be around. And the effects lasted for several months beyond the initial three week study.

Other studies on gratitude confirm these results. People who take the time to notice and appreciate the good things that come their way through grace, or luck, or the goodness of others are happier and more peaceful. They do better on cognitive tests and tests of problem solving skills. They practice healthier habits, have better relationships, are more optimistic and live longer. Gratitude is one powerful emotion.

The power of gratitude is illustrated in the story of the ten lepers, recorded in Luke’s gospel. Of the ten lepers that were healed, one returned to say thanks. There are at least three lessons we can learn from that thankful leper:

1. Giving thanks is an intentional act of looking back. Giving thanks requires reflection. Furthermore, it assumes appreciation for the thing received. As an intentional act, giving thanks demands that we rearrange our priorities and make space for this expression of appreciation.

2. Giving thanks is an expression of thoughtfulness. Giving thanks provides opportunities to affirm others. It esteems and validates others. The person giving thanks chooses to shine the floodlight on the giver and the gift received.

3. Giving thanks is a display of humility. In giving thanks, one is acknowledging that a desire has been met. In expressing thanks, one is becoming vulnerable, in that one is affirming that there was a need and that need was met. Actually, giving thanks undermines pride and focuses on others. In essence, giving thanks tenderizes one’s attitudes.

Behavioral scientists are now confirming that people with a greater level of gratitude tend to have stronger relationships in that they appreciate their loved ones more. Studies confirm that thankful people are happier, display improved mental alertness, sleep better and tend to be healthier. Thankful people are also better equipped to offer emotional support to others.

Research confirms that thankful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors. They tend to be more optimistic, a characteristic that researchers say boosts the immune system. Did you know that optimistic patients are better prepared to undergo surgery and experience better health outcomes?

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul contended that thankfulness is a product of the control of the Holy Spirit in Christians (Ephesians 5:18-21). Paul argues that when a Christian is “filled/controlled with the Spirit”, that Christian acquires an appreciative disposition. I pray that that disposition will be very visible in you and me during Memorial Day ceremonies.